Friends, I haven’t updated the blog in a while, but it’s not because I don’t care. I do…really. It’s just that, well, I couldn’t afford for there to be a public record of my thoughts and decisions over the last few weeks. If you’ve talked to me at all since early April and/or can read between the lines of my last few blog posts, I’m sure you understand.
That said, I'm writing today with great news. Beginning Monday, I will once again contribute to society instead of being a drain on it...that's right, I got a job! (Full disclosure: I retain my right to be an EMPLOYED drain upon society).
Next week I will start my work fundraising and marketing for Concern Worldwide -- a non-governmental, international, humanitarian organization dedicated to reduction of suffering and eliminating extreme poverty in some of the world’s poorest countries. Concern works primarily in the countries ranked in the bottom 40 of the United Nations Human Development Report, implementing emergency response programs as well as long-term development programs in the areas of livelihoods, health, HIV&AIDS, and education.
My job will be to grow Concern’s fundraising and brand awareness in the Chicagoland area. The agency is based internationally in Dublin, Ireland and has a US headquarters in New York; I will likely be traveling to those cosmopolitan locales, as well as some of the most impoverished communities in the world in order to better tell Concern’s story. It will be an immense responsibility with overwhelming implications…and I’m incredibly excited about getting started.
In the three months since I lost my job, many of you have reached out to lend your support and ideas, your friendship and love. I’m so grateful for all of you. Truly, deeply, immensely grateful. Thank you all…words can’t express how much your words and deeds have meant to me.
With that, I’ll leave you alone. Finally. If you want to know more about Concern or my role with the company, drop me a line and I'll do my best to share a story about which I only know a small piece.
And once more, to paraphrase the words of those immortal scholars Bartles and James, I thank you for your support.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Our Long National Nightmare is (Almost) Over
My fellow Americans, the past nine weeks have been trying ones. Natural disasters are striking at alarming rates. A team from Duke now calls itself the national champions. And, oh yeah, I’ve been unemployed. But one of those horrors is about to change.
Friends, this morning I received a job offer.
Who is my new employer, you ask? Well, that’s a good question…and one I cannot definitively answer. Here’s why:
The job I was offered is with the agency that canceled several interviews and later assigned me an insanely difficult task in preparation for my second interview. Apparently, I aced it! The recruiter called this morning to tell me the good news, as well as the job’s salary. She did not know, however, the other benefits and promised those would be sent to me within 48 hours (the executive director is out of the country on business).
So why am I not yet calling myself “employed?” It’s odd, because although I only spoke with them on the phone for an hour, in recent days the school has emerged as my preferred employer. That may change after my two-day interview scheduled for April 19 and 20, but I want to explore every possible opportunity before committing to one. Am I crazy?
My plan is to accept the job offer, assuming the salary and benefits packages are acceptable. I would ask to start on Monday, April 26 and then be liberated to attend the school interview one week earlier. If it’s still my top choice, I would sit down privately with the school’s chief administrator (and my prospective boss) to say this:
What do you think, gang? Does that sound reasonable, professional and/or fair? Any and all recommendations for this potentially awkward conversation would be greatly appreciated. And, of course, I will continue to update the blog until I have made my final decision.
Friends, this morning I received a job offer.
Who is my new employer, you ask? Well, that’s a good question…and one I cannot definitively answer. Here’s why:
The job I was offered is with the agency that canceled several interviews and later assigned me an insanely difficult task in preparation for my second interview. Apparently, I aced it! The recruiter called this morning to tell me the good news, as well as the job’s salary. She did not know, however, the other benefits and promised those would be sent to me within 48 hours (the executive director is out of the country on business).
So why am I not yet calling myself “employed?” It’s odd, because although I only spoke with them on the phone for an hour, in recent days the school has emerged as my preferred employer. That may change after my two-day interview scheduled for April 19 and 20, but I want to explore every possible opportunity before committing to one. Am I crazy?
My plan is to accept the job offer, assuming the salary and benefits packages are acceptable. I would ask to start on Monday, April 26 and then be liberated to attend the school interview one week earlier. If it’s still my top choice, I would sit down privately with the school’s chief administrator (and my prospective boss) to say this:
I can’t presume that I am your, or the Board’s, first choice to fill the Development Director vacancy. But I can tell you this – you are my first choice. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always give us our first choices and I have been offered a very enticing position with another agency. I don’t say this to pressure you into choosing me; I say it because of the circumstances I’m in. If I don’t hear from you by next Monday, I am going to start the new position…and I can’t imagine leaving the job after starting, even if you decide to extend me an offer.
What do you think, gang? Does that sound reasonable, professional and/or fair? Any and all recommendations for this potentially awkward conversation would be greatly appreciated. And, of course, I will continue to update the blog until I have made my final decision.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Feeding Frenzy
In my last post, I expressed my concerns about juggling prospects – I currently have no less than four potential job leads that have progressed beyond the initial application stage. And in the days since Monday’s post nothing has happened to diminish the possibilities; if anything, things have progressed even further.
This afternoon I will have an in-person interview with two senior staff members at a medical industry foundation. This is the job titled “associate” with a director-level salary and responsibilities. I had a 15-minute phone interview on Monday that went well and they have invited me to meet in their Evanston offices this afternoon. For some reason, my level of anticipation is not as high for this interview as it has been mere hours before others…a fact that may be due to doubts about the job, my familiarity and comfort with the interview process (after being on so many) or simply due to the fact that I have other compelling prospects and don’t feel the level of desperation that I did a few short weeks ago. Oh well, I’m sure my preconceived notions will either be confirmed or eliminated before the end of the day.
I also got a call this morning, finally, from the Board Member at the community museum. She apologized for not calling Monday as promised; we are scheduled to meet tomorrow morning. I don’t have a feel for her, but I really enjoyed meeting the museum’s executive director and another Board colleague, so I am optimistic that tomorrow will be more of the same.
Next is the private school. Not only did I get a call today from the director asking me to come in for a second interview, but he (confidentially) told me how excited the entire Search Team was after my initial phone interview. Our in-person interview will be comprehensive, to say the least. I’m to meet a large group of staff, volunteers and Board Members over a two-day period – 9-3 on one day, 9-12 the next. While nine hours of face time may seem a bit daunting, I am incredibly impressed with the school’s thoroughness and commitment to finding a Development Director who can fit in with all its diverse constituencies and excel in all areas of job responsibility. The only catch is that these meetings won’t take place until April 19 and 20. But hey, I can be patient.
Finally, I’ve yet to hear back from the New York-based international agency, but I’m harboring no anxiety over that one. As I wrote, I could not have represented myself any better than I did in last week’s second interview. If I don’t get the job, it simply wasn’t meant to be. Damn…that’s a liberating feeling!
Of course, I know I should continue to apply to more jobs since I can’t assume any offers are impending…but the sun is shining, it’s 80 degrees outside and for the first time in a while, things are looking up. I’m definitely going to enjoy the ride.
This afternoon I will have an in-person interview with two senior staff members at a medical industry foundation. This is the job titled “associate” with a director-level salary and responsibilities. I had a 15-minute phone interview on Monday that went well and they have invited me to meet in their Evanston offices this afternoon. For some reason, my level of anticipation is not as high for this interview as it has been mere hours before others…a fact that may be due to doubts about the job, my familiarity and comfort with the interview process (after being on so many) or simply due to the fact that I have other compelling prospects and don’t feel the level of desperation that I did a few short weeks ago. Oh well, I’m sure my preconceived notions will either be confirmed or eliminated before the end of the day.
I also got a call this morning, finally, from the Board Member at the community museum. She apologized for not calling Monday as promised; we are scheduled to meet tomorrow morning. I don’t have a feel for her, but I really enjoyed meeting the museum’s executive director and another Board colleague, so I am optimistic that tomorrow will be more of the same.
Next is the private school. Not only did I get a call today from the director asking me to come in for a second interview, but he (confidentially) told me how excited the entire Search Team was after my initial phone interview. Our in-person interview will be comprehensive, to say the least. I’m to meet a large group of staff, volunteers and Board Members over a two-day period – 9-3 on one day, 9-12 the next. While nine hours of face time may seem a bit daunting, I am incredibly impressed with the school’s thoroughness and commitment to finding a Development Director who can fit in with all its diverse constituencies and excel in all areas of job responsibility. The only catch is that these meetings won’t take place until April 19 and 20. But hey, I can be patient.
Finally, I’ve yet to hear back from the New York-based international agency, but I’m harboring no anxiety over that one. As I wrote, I could not have represented myself any better than I did in last week’s second interview. If I don’t get the job, it simply wasn’t meant to be. Damn…that’s a liberating feeling!
Of course, I know I should continue to apply to more jobs since I can’t assume any offers are impending…but the sun is shining, it’s 80 degrees outside and for the first time in a while, things are looking up. I’m definitely going to enjoy the ride.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Juggling Prospects
Tomorrow marks the eight week anniversary of my job “consolidation,” a two month period marked mostly by frustration, inactivity and occasional bouts of self-pity. All of a sudden, however, the flood gates have opened and I’ve been besieged by job prospects from all angles.
(Quick tangent: shouldn’t we have a better word than “anniversary” to mark the time elapsed since something bad happened? The word anniversary has a positive connotation, but losing one’s job is far from a good thing. Perhaps “shamiversary”? Maybe “dreadaversary”? Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.)
I’m not complaining about my sudden good fortune, but where I recently felt starved for employment options, I’m now trying to juggle multiple balls without letting one drop. And while no one has made me an offer yet, instead of being elated about one opportunity, I’m now trying to rank my prospects and determine exactly which is best. Sure, it’s a good problem to have…but it’s still a problem.
Let’s examine the contenders, shall we?
That’s just four contenders, but the crazy thing is that I applied to all four of these jobs in early February. What if, contrary to my fears, my resume actually does resonate with prospective employers and I start to get calls based on the jobs I applied to in late February and all of March? I mean, there are potential red flags associated with all of the prospects above; does an almost unrealistic interview assignment mean working at prospect #1 would be a sea of unrealistic expectations? Is there enough of a scope for prospect #2’s mission that I could actually succeed and grow in the role? Am I being blinded by the idea of free tuition for children years away from conception that I’m placing too lofty a status on prospect #3? If I choose to accept the position, does prospect #4’s entry-level title set me back career-wise?
It’s funny how far I’ve come in eight weeks and I wouldn’t wish the highs and lows of the job search process on anyone. Well, maybe the highs…but you know what I mean. Any advice, people? Am I making things too complicated? Should I just be happy if/when one acceptable offer comes in?
(Quick tangent: shouldn’t we have a better word than “anniversary” to mark the time elapsed since something bad happened? The word anniversary has a positive connotation, but losing one’s job is far from a good thing. Perhaps “shamiversary”? Maybe “dreadaversary”? Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.)
I’m not complaining about my sudden good fortune, but where I recently felt starved for employment options, I’m now trying to juggle multiple balls without letting one drop. And while no one has made me an offer yet, instead of being elated about one opportunity, I’m now trying to rank my prospects and determine exactly which is best. Sure, it’s a good problem to have…but it’s still a problem.
Let’s examine the contenders, shall we?
Prospect #1 – the agency that had to cancel several first interviews because the executive director was stuck in New York. My second interview was scheduled for Friday, but 24 hours before, I received an assignment that seemed overwhelming. In order to test my fundraising acumen, I was told to imagine that I had 24 hours to prepare for an opportunity to meet two high-level CEOs who represented funding prospects. I had to deliver a 10-minute pitch and prepare supporting documents that spoke to the agency, its mission and its case for support. I also had to generate a complete budget. These tasks would be difficult enough had I enjoyed a long employment tenure and a full understanding of the agency, but I had to rely on the (mis)information on the agency’s website. Fourteen hours of prep work later, I completed my assignment, got a few hours sleep, then met with the executive director and a Board Member. I may not get the job, but it’s hard for me to imagine any other candidate spent more time or produced better results on his or her assignment.
Prospect #2 – the north shore community museum at which I had an interview two weeks ago. Less than an hour after returning from my second interview with the New York agency, the museum director called to set up a second interview too. I am to meet with one of their Board Members later this week.
Prospect #3 – the local private school. Maybe I’m putting the cart before the horse, but I killed it in my phone interview with the “Development Director Search Task Force” and am optimistically expecting an invitation to interview in person next week.
Prospect #4 – the new contender. As I was preparing today’s lunch, I received a call from a national health foundation who wants someone to oversee their comprehensive development portfolio. Interestingly enough, the job title is only “Associate,” but the required experience and attached salary are firmly in line with what I expect.
That’s just four contenders, but the crazy thing is that I applied to all four of these jobs in early February. What if, contrary to my fears, my resume actually does resonate with prospective employers and I start to get calls based on the jobs I applied to in late February and all of March? I mean, there are potential red flags associated with all of the prospects above; does an almost unrealistic interview assignment mean working at prospect #1 would be a sea of unrealistic expectations? Is there enough of a scope for prospect #2’s mission that I could actually succeed and grow in the role? Am I being blinded by the idea of free tuition for children years away from conception that I’m placing too lofty a status on prospect #3? If I choose to accept the position, does prospect #4’s entry-level title set me back career-wise?
It’s funny how far I’ve come in eight weeks and I wouldn’t wish the highs and lows of the job search process on anyone. Well, maybe the highs…but you know what I mean. Any advice, people? Am I making things too complicated? Should I just be happy if/when one acceptable offer comes in?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Interview Blues
I just wrapped up with the “Development Director Search Task Force,” which, despite the overly bureaucratic name, ran an organized and efficient telephone interview. The job is with a local private and progressive school, a workplace where collaboration and enthusiasm seem to be ideals held on par with experience and valued far more than individuality. I’d like to think they responded extremely favorably to my answers, but as always, there’s a distinct possibility that I totally misread the situation and the Task Force hung up the phone and collectively said, “Well that was a huge waste of time.”
You know, because I get that a lot.
The only negative about today’s interview was the speed of their hiring process. The director talked about in-person interviews not starting until mid-April, with the Development Director to “begin in the summer.” At best that means June 11 – the last day of the school year. But what if they mean July or August? Ugh. Things could get ugly at home (and in my bank account) if my search takes that long.
I still have Friday’s second interview to think about…even though I don’t yet have a confirmed time, location or even city. But hey, a second interview is a second interview…right?
I applied to even more jobs today – a task I’m finding more and more mind-numbing and depressing. But every time I feel like I’ve sent off as many resumes as humanly possible, I remember that I like fancy things and a job is the best way to ensure I can continue living the lifestyle to which I’ve grown accustomed. If only I were more bohemian…
You know, because I get that a lot.
The only negative about today’s interview was the speed of their hiring process. The director talked about in-person interviews not starting until mid-April, with the Development Director to “begin in the summer.” At best that means June 11 – the last day of the school year. But what if they mean July or August? Ugh. Things could get ugly at home (and in my bank account) if my search takes that long.
I still have Friday’s second interview to think about…even though I don’t yet have a confirmed time, location or even city. But hey, a second interview is a second interview…right?
I applied to even more jobs today – a task I’m finding more and more mind-numbing and depressing. But every time I feel like I’ve sent off as many resumes as humanly possible, I remember that I like fancy things and a job is the best way to ensure I can continue living the lifestyle to which I’ve grown accustomed. If only I were more bohemian…
Monday, March 22, 2010
Madness Intrudes
You likely have been wondering what happened to the blog. Either that, or you forgot about me and my narcissistic musings. But I’m going to go with wonder…and now I’ll fill you in on the past week.
Last Tuesday I took advantage of the brilliant early Spring weather and played nine holes of golf – one of the rare conveniences afforded to a man with an abundance of free time like myself. Thursday and Friday I did something I hadn’t done since college – I spent two straight days inside bars watching the NCAA tournament, drinking, gambling, eating horribly and, in general, being a buffoon. It was awesome.
But now that all but 16 teams have been eliminated and the rest of the western world is back at work, I find myself back here blogging. This week is shaping up to be a busy one; I have a phone interview tomorrow (with a nearby progressive and independent K-12 school), a second interview on Friday (that may or may not be out of town) and I hope to hear back from the agency with which I had a great first interview last week. Oh, and there are plenty of new jobs to apply to as well.
I will, of course, keep you updated on any developments and promise to avoid all college basketball. Well…at least until Thursday.
Last Tuesday I took advantage of the brilliant early Spring weather and played nine holes of golf – one of the rare conveniences afforded to a man with an abundance of free time like myself. Thursday and Friday I did something I hadn’t done since college – I spent two straight days inside bars watching the NCAA tournament, drinking, gambling, eating horribly and, in general, being a buffoon. It was awesome.
But now that all but 16 teams have been eliminated and the rest of the western world is back at work, I find myself back here blogging. This week is shaping up to be a busy one; I have a phone interview tomorrow (with a nearby progressive and independent K-12 school), a second interview on Friday (that may or may not be out of town) and I hope to hear back from the agency with which I had a great first interview last week. Oh, and there are plenty of new jobs to apply to as well.
I will, of course, keep you updated on any developments and promise to avoid all college basketball. Well…at least until Thursday.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Could this be Good News or Did I Stumble Across the Wrong Blog?
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
Today’s post was meant to be titled “Back to Work” -- a tease for the seven hours of manual labor I did on Saturday helping the Future Missus execute an office event, and earning me $70 more than I had earned the previous six weeks. Then…something happened. More accurately, multiple things happened…but something good happened. In fact, TWO good somethings happened!
I should have asked if you were sitting down. Sorry for any coronaries caused and/or liquid spit out.
At the end of last week I was called by the director of a North Shore community museum. I had applied for their vacancy in the first week of February, but she told me they had just started interviewing candidates and asked me to come in Monday (today). From the job description, I inferred a large part of the role would be to launch a capital campaign, so I spent the weekend researching a type of fundraising I had read about but never directly managed.
Sure enough, the capital campaign questions came at me from all angles…and I was prepared for each and every one of them! I even prepared an answer for my nemesis question – “What would be the first thing you do on the job (to launch our capital campaign)?” And, if I may modestly say, I effing nailed it. Not just the question, but the entire interview. Maybe I’m getting better at these things the more interviews I’m on – or maybe it was just a desperation Hail Mary – but I was “on” like I’ve never been before.
Smug and satisfied, I treated myself to Chipotle on the way home. And while that was awesome, it was not the second good thing I teased above. No, the second good thing was a first: my first second interview!
That agency that rescheduled our interview several times? The executive director flying in from New York? The meeting, as explained above, in which I feared my answers were too general and not specific enough? They want to meet with me next week – an interview I think will be in New York!
So yeah, I’m pretty excited right now and struggling for the appropriate words to end this post. That’s why I’ll leave it to one of the masters; as William Butler Yates once simply wrote, “Today was a good day.”
Or was that Ice Cube? I always get them confused…
Today’s post was meant to be titled “Back to Work” -- a tease for the seven hours of manual labor I did on Saturday helping the Future Missus execute an office event, and earning me $70 more than I had earned the previous six weeks. Then…something happened. More accurately, multiple things happened…but something good happened. In fact, TWO good somethings happened!
I should have asked if you were sitting down. Sorry for any coronaries caused and/or liquid spit out.
At the end of last week I was called by the director of a North Shore community museum. I had applied for their vacancy in the first week of February, but she told me they had just started interviewing candidates and asked me to come in Monday (today). From the job description, I inferred a large part of the role would be to launch a capital campaign, so I spent the weekend researching a type of fundraising I had read about but never directly managed.
Sure enough, the capital campaign questions came at me from all angles…and I was prepared for each and every one of them! I even prepared an answer for my nemesis question – “What would be the first thing you do on the job (to launch our capital campaign)?” And, if I may modestly say, I effing nailed it. Not just the question, but the entire interview. Maybe I’m getting better at these things the more interviews I’m on – or maybe it was just a desperation Hail Mary – but I was “on” like I’ve never been before.
Smug and satisfied, I treated myself to Chipotle on the way home. And while that was awesome, it was not the second good thing I teased above. No, the second good thing was a first: my first second interview!
That agency that rescheduled our interview several times? The executive director flying in from New York? The meeting, as explained above, in which I feared my answers were too general and not specific enough? They want to meet with me next week – an interview I think will be in New York!
So yeah, I’m pretty excited right now and struggling for the appropriate words to end this post. That’s why I’ll leave it to one of the masters; as William Butler Yates once simply wrote, “Today was a good day.”
Or was that Ice Cube? I always get them confused…
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Procrastination Nation
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
I woke up this morning fully prepared to get back on the elliptical and reinvest myself in personal fitness. That didn’t happen…but I did film a YouTube video this afternoon, so the day’s not a total loss.
Since I researched and applied to so many jobs yesterday, there wasn’t much for me to do today on the employment front, however, I got a call from an agency to which I applied back on February 5. I briefly chatted with the executive director and was invited to interview with her and the Board Development chair on Monday! Now I just have to cram on capital campaigns – a part of fundraising with which I’m familiar, but have never had direct experience.
Tomorrow will be a day occupied with a lot of studying, a good deal of researching, and if I know myself at all, a fair amount of workout procrastinating. Why mess up a good thing, right?
I woke up this morning fully prepared to get back on the elliptical and reinvest myself in personal fitness. That didn’t happen…but I did film a YouTube video this afternoon, so the day’s not a total loss.
Since I researched and applied to so many jobs yesterday, there wasn’t much for me to do today on the employment front, however, I got a call from an agency to which I applied back on February 5. I briefly chatted with the executive director and was invited to interview with her and the Board Development chair on Monday! Now I just have to cram on capital campaigns – a part of fundraising with which I’m familiar, but have never had direct experience.
Tomorrow will be a day occupied with a lot of studying, a good deal of researching, and if I know myself at all, a fair amount of workout procrastinating. Why mess up a good thing, right?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Back to the Grind
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
A night of binge drinking behind me, I’m resolved to get back on track with my employment mission. But what a night of drinking it was…Uncle Pete, you would have been proud: wine, vodka and Chinese food is, as you told me frequently, a recipe for good times.
OK, I confess. I don’t have an Uncle Pete. But I do have a liver that aged two years in a few glorious hours last night, so cut me some slack.
I spent the better part of this afternoon researching job leads, hitting the usual suspects (Career Builder, Monster, Indeed), industry-specific sites (Association of Fundraising Professionals, npo.net) and even stumbling across some I had never heard of before (ParetoCentral.com anyone?). In all, I applied for ten new jobs – a fairly substantial accomplishment when you’re looking for work in this economy…but one that still seems like it should be a modest daily objective if you’re a member of the blissfully ignorant sect of the population I like to call “gainfully employed.”
So I was feeling pretty good about myself…and then I found it. A typo. On my resume. Good lord, is there anything I can’t screw up?
Sure it was just a misplaced apostrophe, but you would have thought that someone (myself, any of the friends or family who have looked it over, the career counselor I met last week, ANYONE) would have brought it to my attention. But alas, they didn’t. And my alleged professional communication skills are now reasonably doubted by any future employer. As if my talents weren’t disputable before…
The misplaced apostrophe has since been put in its proper location. Now I just have to find what’s left of my dignity from where it’s hiding…in a near-empty bottle of Ketel One.
A night of binge drinking behind me, I’m resolved to get back on track with my employment mission. But what a night of drinking it was…Uncle Pete, you would have been proud: wine, vodka and Chinese food is, as you told me frequently, a recipe for good times.
OK, I confess. I don’t have an Uncle Pete. But I do have a liver that aged two years in a few glorious hours last night, so cut me some slack.
I spent the better part of this afternoon researching job leads, hitting the usual suspects (Career Builder, Monster, Indeed), industry-specific sites (Association of Fundraising Professionals, npo.net) and even stumbling across some I had never heard of before (ParetoCentral.com anyone?). In all, I applied for ten new jobs – a fairly substantial accomplishment when you’re looking for work in this economy…but one that still seems like it should be a modest daily objective if you’re a member of the blissfully ignorant sect of the population I like to call “gainfully employed.”
So I was feeling pretty good about myself…and then I found it. A typo. On my resume. Good lord, is there anything I can’t screw up?
Sure it was just a misplaced apostrophe, but you would have thought that someone (myself, any of the friends or family who have looked it over, the career counselor I met last week, ANYONE) would have brought it to my attention. But alas, they didn’t. And my alleged professional communication skills are now reasonably doubted by any future employer. As if my talents weren’t disputable before…
The misplaced apostrophe has since been put in its proper location. Now I just have to find what’s left of my dignity from where it’s hiding…in a near-empty bottle of Ketel One.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Ahmadinejad (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Lay a Bomb)
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
As if posting the words “Ahmadinejad” and “bomb” in the same line wasn’t enough to draw scrutiny from the Department of Homeland Security, I have bigger worries: I am still unemployed…and I’m fairly confident I won’t be getting the job for which I interviewed today.
Let’s back up a few steps. Yesterday I wrote about my lunch meeting and asked blog readership about the appropriate attire for a lunchtime job interview at a beer and burger joint. The response (both in blog comments and real life) was overwhelming: go with “The Ahmadinejad” – a nice suit without a tie. I’d love to blame your collectively poor wardrobe recommendation for not getting yet another job, but the truth is that it’s not you…it’s me.
Despite an online job description that seemed perfectly tailored to my fundraising expertise, I learned early in today’s conversation that the executive director was looking for a seasoned event and volunteer management professional to fill the vacancy. While I have some experience in this area, my experience falls far short of what is desired from their new hire. While the executive director didn’t go so far as to say that I’m eliminated as a candidate, she did attempt to gauge my interest for a more junior level position – a position (if my cyber-stalking is accurate) currently filled by 2008 college graduate. Ouch.
It’s not a total loss. I mean, I had great chemistry with the executive director and there’s no real harm in cultivating professional relationships. And, I may know a great person to fill the open position (even if it’s not me). It’s just that none of these silver linings is much consolation to me now. Jobless. Frustrated. Increasingly fearful that my unemployment status may carry on far longer than I had hoped.
Clearly, I’m not giving up…and unlike my post a few weeks ago, I’m not throwing myself a pity party. I still have two prospects for second interviews, as well as another dozen job leads to which I plan to apply. I will get to the top of this mountain…there just may be a long climb ahead of me.
As if posting the words “Ahmadinejad” and “bomb” in the same line wasn’t enough to draw scrutiny from the Department of Homeland Security, I have bigger worries: I am still unemployed…and I’m fairly confident I won’t be getting the job for which I interviewed today.
Let’s back up a few steps. Yesterday I wrote about my lunch meeting and asked blog readership about the appropriate attire for a lunchtime job interview at a beer and burger joint. The response (both in blog comments and real life) was overwhelming: go with “The Ahmadinejad” – a nice suit without a tie. I’d love to blame your collectively poor wardrobe recommendation for not getting yet another job, but the truth is that it’s not you…it’s me.
Despite an online job description that seemed perfectly tailored to my fundraising expertise, I learned early in today’s conversation that the executive director was looking for a seasoned event and volunteer management professional to fill the vacancy. While I have some experience in this area, my experience falls far short of what is desired from their new hire. While the executive director didn’t go so far as to say that I’m eliminated as a candidate, she did attempt to gauge my interest for a more junior level position – a position (if my cyber-stalking is accurate) currently filled by 2008 college graduate. Ouch.
It’s not a total loss. I mean, I had great chemistry with the executive director and there’s no real harm in cultivating professional relationships. And, I may know a great person to fill the open position (even if it’s not me). It’s just that none of these silver linings is much consolation to me now. Jobless. Frustrated. Increasingly fearful that my unemployment status may carry on far longer than I had hoped.
Clearly, I’m not giving up…and unlike my post a few weeks ago, I’m not throwing myself a pity party. I still have two prospects for second interviews, as well as another dozen job leads to which I plan to apply. I will get to the top of this mountain…there just may be a long climb ahead of me.
Monday, March 8, 2010
I’ve Got Questions
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
When we last left off, I had teased two topics for my next post…and because I promised an explanation of said topics on Friday, you likely had a restless weekend imagining what bombshells I had in store for you. Or, you completely forgot about me and lived your life.
Nah…
Anyway, the agency I interviewed with on Thursday told me that they were meeting candidates all day (there was one more interview after mine scheduled for 4pm) and hoped to narrow the field to two or three finalists. The next round of interviews would be held in New York, involve select members of their Board of Directors and include a high-level skills test. A test? What does that mean?
No really…I want to know. What does that mean?
My second tease was about a lead I’ve cultivated for a job at an agency at which I had met a couple of key decision makers in the past. Last week, I saw a new job posting for this agency. Back in the Fall of 2007, I had lunch with the executive director and coffee (for two hours) with the chairman of the board. They didn’t hire me at the time, choosing instead to take on a more junior candidate at a much lower salary. There were no hard feelings, and so when I saw the new job (and it’s very attractive salary) I shot off an e-mail to the executive director informing her of my interest and plans to apply formally through their search firm.
Almost immediately, the executive director e-mailed me back, said she did remember me and asked if I was available to meet with her within the next few days! Ironically, later I received an e-mail from the search firm thanking me for my interest and promising to be in touch if my background and experiences matches the specifications of their client. Ha! So I’m having lunch tomorrow with the executive director…and I hope to hear about next steps for the New York job and a separate Chicago job later this week. How’s that for plate spinning?
Besides the questions about a “test,” I have one more query for you knowledgeable and fashionable readers: what does one wear to a meeting/interview at a downtown burger and beer lunch spot? Do I go full suit and tie, suit without a tie (aka the “Ahmadinejad”) or do I dare try something even more casual to better match the setting? Get fierce, friends; I need your advice to ensure there’s no wardrobe malfunction.
When we last left off, I had teased two topics for my next post…and because I promised an explanation of said topics on Friday, you likely had a restless weekend imagining what bombshells I had in store for you. Or, you completely forgot about me and lived your life.
Nah…
Anyway, the agency I interviewed with on Thursday told me that they were meeting candidates all day (there was one more interview after mine scheduled for 4pm) and hoped to narrow the field to two or three finalists. The next round of interviews would be held in New York, involve select members of their Board of Directors and include a high-level skills test. A test? What does that mean?
No really…I want to know. What does that mean?
My second tease was about a lead I’ve cultivated for a job at an agency at which I had met a couple of key decision makers in the past. Last week, I saw a new job posting for this agency. Back in the Fall of 2007, I had lunch with the executive director and coffee (for two hours) with the chairman of the board. They didn’t hire me at the time, choosing instead to take on a more junior candidate at a much lower salary. There were no hard feelings, and so when I saw the new job (and it’s very attractive salary) I shot off an e-mail to the executive director informing her of my interest and plans to apply formally through their search firm.
Almost immediately, the executive director e-mailed me back, said she did remember me and asked if I was available to meet with her within the next few days! Ironically, later I received an e-mail from the search firm thanking me for my interest and promising to be in touch if my background and experiences matches the specifications of their client. Ha! So I’m having lunch tomorrow with the executive director…and I hope to hear about next steps for the New York job and a separate Chicago job later this week. How’s that for plate spinning?
Besides the questions about a “test,” I have one more query for you knowledgeable and fashionable readers: what does one wear to a meeting/interview at a downtown burger and beer lunch spot? Do I go full suit and tie, suit without a tie (aka the “Ahmadinejad”) or do I dare try something even more casual to better match the setting? Get fierce, friends; I need your advice to ensure there’s no wardrobe malfunction.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Interview Day
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
Today was the big day – my thrice canceled interview was finally happening. The sun was shining and there were no reported arrival delays at Chicago’s airports. Perhaps in shock that the long-delayed meeting was finally happening, my body responded this morning by doing the only thing it could do to combat such anxiety – my bowels worked overtime.
My case of the runs notwithstanding, the interview went fairly-to-very well. During the 90 minutes I sat with the New York-based executive director and the Chicago office director, I answered most questions with a modest amount of elegance and clarity. I aced my response about the agency’s history (has the candidate researched us?), I deftly avoided landmines when asked to critique their website (is the candidate able to offer subtle and constructive criticism?) and I ably identified their chief competitors and offered my take on how I’d frame the mission to a prospective funder (does the candidate understand our industry?). In fact, the only query to which my response was less than ideal (at least, that’s the was I perceived it due to their reactions) was about the specific actions I'd take to build corporate sponsorship efforts at their annual golf event.
Here’s the thing: you can prepare for an interview all you want, but I never like to promise one course of action before I truly understand the company, its past activities and its future goals. I know some people are confident enough to sit down with a stranger and say they will do X, Y and Z (not literally, of course. If you said "I’ll do X, Y and Z," you’re likely to be met with incredulous stares). But I never like to position myself as an expert when talking to actual experts. I tried to be vague and talk about needing to learn the specifics about the agency and all its constituencies before I approach them…but I think they wanted more. Oh well…I can sleep at night if I don’t get this job because I refused to make promises I couldn’t guarantee.
My question to you, dear readers, is what would you have said? This isn’t the first time I’ve faced this question in a job interview and I’m always skeptical about my response. Is it better to talk a big game and propose actions that you may later need to retract? Should confidence outweigh prudence? Does my so-called substantial expertise mean I really know the answers to questions I don’t fully understand?
I’m truly interested in your feedback. Please comment below and/or on this blog’s Facebook page.
Since I’m already running a little long, I’ll tease two tidbits for tomorrow’s post: first, the interesting next steps in the interview/hiring process for this job, as well as a new lead for a position at an agency with which I’ve had some interview experience in the past. Maybe it won’t be compelling reading…but it won’t suck either.
Or it will. Whatever.
Today was the big day – my thrice canceled interview was finally happening. The sun was shining and there were no reported arrival delays at Chicago’s airports. Perhaps in shock that the long-delayed meeting was finally happening, my body responded this morning by doing the only thing it could do to combat such anxiety – my bowels worked overtime.
My case of the runs notwithstanding, the interview went fairly-to-very well. During the 90 minutes I sat with the New York-based executive director and the Chicago office director, I answered most questions with a modest amount of elegance and clarity. I aced my response about the agency’s history (has the candidate researched us?), I deftly avoided landmines when asked to critique their website (is the candidate able to offer subtle and constructive criticism?) and I ably identified their chief competitors and offered my take on how I’d frame the mission to a prospective funder (does the candidate understand our industry?). In fact, the only query to which my response was less than ideal (at least, that’s the was I perceived it due to their reactions) was about the specific actions I'd take to build corporate sponsorship efforts at their annual golf event.
Here’s the thing: you can prepare for an interview all you want, but I never like to promise one course of action before I truly understand the company, its past activities and its future goals. I know some people are confident enough to sit down with a stranger and say they will do X, Y and Z (not literally, of course. If you said "I’ll do X, Y and Z," you’re likely to be met with incredulous stares). But I never like to position myself as an expert when talking to actual experts. I tried to be vague and talk about needing to learn the specifics about the agency and all its constituencies before I approach them…but I think they wanted more. Oh well…I can sleep at night if I don’t get this job because I refused to make promises I couldn’t guarantee.
My question to you, dear readers, is what would you have said? This isn’t the first time I’ve faced this question in a job interview and I’m always skeptical about my response. Is it better to talk a big game and propose actions that you may later need to retract? Should confidence outweigh prudence? Does my so-called substantial expertise mean I really know the answers to questions I don’t fully understand?
I’m truly interested in your feedback. Please comment below and/or on this blog’s Facebook page.
Since I’m already running a little long, I’ll tease two tidbits for tomorrow’s post: first, the interesting next steps in the interview/hiring process for this job, as well as a new lead for a position at an agency with which I’ve had some interview experience in the past. Maybe it won’t be compelling reading…but it won’t suck either.
Or it will. Whatever.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
‘Happy’ Anniversary to Me
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
Groundhog Day – it’s not just Bill Murray’s third best movie…it’s also the date – one month ago today – of my unfortunate job “consolidation.” Wow, the time flew by, didn’t it? Stupid February…first Black History gets stuck with the shortest month, then me.
As promised, I tried to think of a clever way to celebrate my jobless anniversary…but if you know me well (or have read at least two of my blog posts), you’d know that clever and I don’t often cross paths. I’d assume you would be disappointed…but my (lack of) progress on the elliptical should have prepared you for my inevitable failure to live up to expectations.
Sorry.
In lieu of a grand celebratory gesture, I want to again thank everyone who has reached out to me in the past month to offer their sympathy (many of you), advice (some of you) or cash considerations (none of you). When life throws hurdles at us, it’s always easier to have faith in a better future with the help and support of our friends and families. Despite my unemployment, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more blessed than I have in the past month. Thank you all.
And now, let us pray…that we’re not all here again to celebrate another anniversary one month from today.
Groundhog Day – it’s not just Bill Murray’s third best movie…it’s also the date – one month ago today – of my unfortunate job “consolidation.” Wow, the time flew by, didn’t it? Stupid February…first Black History gets stuck with the shortest month, then me.
As promised, I tried to think of a clever way to celebrate my jobless anniversary…but if you know me well (or have read at least two of my blog posts), you’d know that clever and I don’t often cross paths. I’d assume you would be disappointed…but my (lack of) progress on the elliptical should have prepared you for my inevitable failure to live up to expectations.
Sorry.
In lieu of a grand celebratory gesture, I want to again thank everyone who has reached out to me in the past month to offer their sympathy (many of you), advice (some of you) or cash considerations (none of you). When life throws hurdles at us, it’s always easier to have faith in a better future with the help and support of our friends and families. Despite my unemployment, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more blessed than I have in the past month. Thank you all.
And now, let us pray…that we’re not all here again to celebrate another anniversary one month from today.
Monday, March 1, 2010
When it Rains, it Snows
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
When I last posted, I was pessimistic that a thrice-rescheduled job interview would actually take place on Friday. Guess what? It didn’t.
Another severe winter storm caused all flights out of New York to be canceled last Thursday evening and Friday morning, so the interviewer had to again postpone. I’ve been told that she is traveling to Seattle today and will fly from there to Chicago on Thursday, with our meeting now set for 2:30 Thursday afternoon. Which I suppose is a long-winded way of saying…my Pacific Northwest friends should expect to be inundated with bad weather and/or a natural disaster in a few days. Sorry, I don’t make the rules…that’s just how it is.
Today I met with a career counselor recommended by my future father-in-law, and despite my skepticism for her industry, I think I got some solid tips. I have updated my resume and LinkedIn page and have a better overall perspective on the inner dynamics of how applicants are sorted and ranked by Human Resources filters within large companies. Overall, it was as worthwhile a use of my time as anything I’ve done since Hands Across America. Or at least, since Fox reality Channel aired a marathon of the original “Paradise Hotel.”
In other news, tomorrow marks the one month anniversary of my inconvenient unemployment. In case you’re looking for a gift, the one month jobless milestone is known as the “cash anniversary;” feel free to send me money…or hire me. You know, whichever is more convenient for you.
I’ll try to devise a fun way to celebrate my depressing anniversary in tomorrow’s post, but your ideas are always appreciated as well. Have I mentioned that you can comment at the bottom of each post? Why are more of you not taking this glorious opportunity to have your words read by my tens and tens of loyal readers?
When I last posted, I was pessimistic that a thrice-rescheduled job interview would actually take place on Friday. Guess what? It didn’t.
Another severe winter storm caused all flights out of New York to be canceled last Thursday evening and Friday morning, so the interviewer had to again postpone. I’ve been told that she is traveling to Seattle today and will fly from there to Chicago on Thursday, with our meeting now set for 2:30 Thursday afternoon. Which I suppose is a long-winded way of saying…my Pacific Northwest friends should expect to be inundated with bad weather and/or a natural disaster in a few days. Sorry, I don’t make the rules…that’s just how it is.
Today I met with a career counselor recommended by my future father-in-law, and despite my skepticism for her industry, I think I got some solid tips. I have updated my resume and LinkedIn page and have a better overall perspective on the inner dynamics of how applicants are sorted and ranked by Human Resources filters within large companies. Overall, it was as worthwhile a use of my time as anything I’ve done since Hands Across America. Or at least, since Fox reality Channel aired a marathon of the original “Paradise Hotel.”
In other news, tomorrow marks the one month anniversary of my inconvenient unemployment. In case you’re looking for a gift, the one month jobless milestone is known as the “cash anniversary;” feel free to send me money…or hire me. You know, whichever is more convenient for you.
I’ll try to devise a fun way to celebrate my depressing anniversary in tomorrow’s post, but your ideas are always appreciated as well. Have I mentioned that you can comment at the bottom of each post? Why are more of you not taking this glorious opportunity to have your words read by my tens and tens of loyal readers?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I’m Sick of the Waiting Game (Let’s Play Hungry Hungry Hippos)
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
That interview? Supposed to be today, after being originally scheduled for last week? Yeah…it was postponed again. Rescheduled for tomorrow morning. The executive director couldn’t fly in to Chicago last night, and with bad weather in New York, isn’t it almost inevitable that the interview will get pushed back again? I’m awash with optimism…
Stay tuned, friends…
That interview? Supposed to be today, after being originally scheduled for last week? Yeah…it was postponed again. Rescheduled for tomorrow morning. The executive director couldn’t fly in to Chicago last night, and with bad weather in New York, isn’t it almost inevitable that the interview will get pushed back again? I’m awash with optimism…
Stay tuned, friends…
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The World’s Worst Interview(er)
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
Yesterday I wrote about what I perceived to be a scam sent to desperate job seekers who posted their resumes on Career Builder, but the truth is that I’ve gotten a few solid leads from employers that saw my online resume and contacted me about one of their real job openings.
Or have I?
Recently, I’ve talked to two different employers that asked me to come in for an interview to discuss vacancies in their sales forces. Both assured me that the positions were not purely commission-based, both promised a fast track toward management and running a team of salesmen, and both offered what they deemed to be near unlimited earnings potential.
Though not excited about making a living in sales, I grabbed the first open interview slot (today at 10:30 am) and drove out to Lombard (town motto: “We’re Halfway to Aurora!”) to consider a new career path. What I got instead was a little lesson in the do’s and don’ts of interviewing a job candidate:
DO ask questions. That’s the plural of “question.” Remember that.
DON’T talk for an hour uninterrupted while the job candidate fights his desire to yawn.
DO get personal with the candidate, learning what makes him tick.
DON’T ask what the candidate’s parents do for a living and then never again invite him to join the conversation.
I know it sounds like exaggeration, but the interviewer literally asked me one question. One. And that was the question about my parents. Nothing about my resume, nothing about my experience, nothing about my interests…but man could he spin a mediocre yarn. If you’ve never heard the history of the insurance industry as told by a 58-year-old insurance lifer, well, you haven’t lived. Oh, and the “not purely commission-based” line I was given? Horseshit. He said they would advance me future commission if I needed the money, but there was zero salary associated with the job.
Shockingly enough, the interviewer told me he really enjoyed our “conversation” and told me he’d like me to sit down with his boss next week to discuss specifics. Really? Are you that lonely that you’re willing to hire someone simply because he is (barely) capable of not telling you to shut the fuck up?
When I woke up this morning, I doubted that I wanted this sales job, but I went on the interview for two reasons: a) because I promised myself that I would explore any and every opportunity to rejoin the workforce as soon as possible; and b) I thought I could use the experience as a trial run for tomorrow’s interview for a job about which I’m excited. I definitely didn’t get an edge for tomorrow, but at least a middle aged middle manager now thinks he would get along well with my parents.
I’m sure they can’t wait to meet him.
Yesterday I wrote about what I perceived to be a scam sent to desperate job seekers who posted their resumes on Career Builder, but the truth is that I’ve gotten a few solid leads from employers that saw my online resume and contacted me about one of their real job openings.
Or have I?
Recently, I’ve talked to two different employers that asked me to come in for an interview to discuss vacancies in their sales forces. Both assured me that the positions were not purely commission-based, both promised a fast track toward management and running a team of salesmen, and both offered what they deemed to be near unlimited earnings potential.
Though not excited about making a living in sales, I grabbed the first open interview slot (today at 10:30 am) and drove out to Lombard (town motto: “We’re Halfway to Aurora!”) to consider a new career path. What I got instead was a little lesson in the do’s and don’ts of interviewing a job candidate:
DO ask questions. That’s the plural of “question.” Remember that.
DON’T talk for an hour uninterrupted while the job candidate fights his desire to yawn.
DO get personal with the candidate, learning what makes him tick.
DON’T ask what the candidate’s parents do for a living and then never again invite him to join the conversation.
I know it sounds like exaggeration, but the interviewer literally asked me one question. One. And that was the question about my parents. Nothing about my resume, nothing about my experience, nothing about my interests…but man could he spin a mediocre yarn. If you’ve never heard the history of the insurance industry as told by a 58-year-old insurance lifer, well, you haven’t lived. Oh, and the “not purely commission-based” line I was given? Horseshit. He said they would advance me future commission if I needed the money, but there was zero salary associated with the job.
Shockingly enough, the interviewer told me he really enjoyed our “conversation” and told me he’d like me to sit down with his boss next week to discuss specifics. Really? Are you that lonely that you’re willing to hire someone simply because he is (barely) capable of not telling you to shut the fuck up?
When I woke up this morning, I doubted that I wanted this sales job, but I went on the interview for two reasons: a) because I promised myself that I would explore any and every opportunity to rejoin the workforce as soon as possible; and b) I thought I could use the experience as a trial run for tomorrow’s interview for a job about which I’m excited. I definitely didn’t get an edge for tomorrow, but at least a middle aged middle manager now thinks he would get along well with my parents.
I’m sure they can’t wait to meet him.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Of Scams and Shams
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
The world of online job searches can be a funny thing.
Since finding myself unemployed, I’ve applied to more than 30 jobs…and investigated dozens of other open positions that I determined were not the right fit. I’ve talked to recruiters and career coaches. I’ve networked my ass off. And I’ve even posted my resumes in some public forums – an action that has led to both interesting and surreal communications from prospective employers.
You know that e-mail scam in which a wealthy foreigner needs help moving millions of dollars from his homeland and promises you a percentage of his fortune in exchange for your assistance (usually in the form of providing him your bank account information)? Well, today I think I discovered its job search cousin. Take a look at this:
Frankly, I wasn’t sold until I learned the job would help me develop high self-respect and esteem. That shit is priceless, you know?
In the world of real jobs, I’m still sending off my resume in bunches and working every possible connection at my disposal. Last week’s phone interview went well and I’m optimistic that I’ll be one of a handful of candidates to get an in-person interview next week. I also have my long-delayed interview coming up on Thursday (I say “long-delayed” even though it’s only been pushed back 8 days. It just feels longer)…and I’m really excited about that one.
For now, however, I need to talk routing numbers with a Nigerian prince…
The world of online job searches can be a funny thing.
Since finding myself unemployed, I’ve applied to more than 30 jobs…and investigated dozens of other open positions that I determined were not the right fit. I’ve talked to recruiters and career coaches. I’ve networked my ass off. And I’ve even posted my resumes in some public forums – an action that has led to both interesting and surreal communications from prospective employers.
You know that e-mail scam in which a wealthy foreigner needs help moving millions of dollars from his homeland and promises you a percentage of his fortune in exchange for your assistance (usually in the form of providing him your bank account information)? Well, today I think I discovered its job search cousin. Take a look at this:
Dear Matthew Smith,
Our Organization is in the business of exchanging, buying, selling E-gold, PayPal and other e-currencies. We have local offices in Sweden, Finland, France, Spain, and Germany. Currently we are offering part-time job of "Transfer Manager" in the United States of America.
We are looking for few professionals who are good team players who can use their initiative, deliver results and show their commitment to excellence. If you are looking for new experience, new accomplishments in your career and are willing to receive better salary you are welcome to join our firm. We have found your CV at careerbuilder.com database, and consider you to be a great candidate for the vacancy which we propose
Job Description:
The task of the "Transfer Manager" is collecting transfers (to your checking account) from our customers in timely manner, sending them to our company in Sweden via bank transfers, and solving issues associated with these tasks.
Every payment will be accompanied with detailed instructions.
WE WILL UNDERTAKE FOR ALL THE FEES CONNECTED WITH YOUR EMPLOYMENT
General requirements:
• Age 21-65;
• Honesty, responsibility and promptness in operations;
• Microsoft Office skills;
• Good communications skills;
• Willingness to work from home, take responsibility and achieve higher goals;
• Any experience in customer service sphere is appreciated.
• 3-10 hours per week
• Salary: $600-$1500 per week. It is a commission based position - 8% from each processed order.
This position will allow you to:
• work efficiently from home, on flexible schedule.
• Become financially independent;
• increase available personal time;
• develop high self-respect and esteem;
If you want to apply this position, please apply here. [Editor’s Note: I accept no responsibility if you click the “apply here” link.]
Frankly, I wasn’t sold until I learned the job would help me develop high self-respect and esteem. That shit is priceless, you know?
In the world of real jobs, I’m still sending off my resume in bunches and working every possible connection at my disposal. Last week’s phone interview went well and I’m optimistic that I’ll be one of a handful of candidates to get an in-person interview next week. I also have my long-delayed interview coming up on Thursday (I say “long-delayed” even though it’s only been pushed back 8 days. It just feels longer)…and I’m really excited about that one.
For now, however, I need to talk routing numbers with a Nigerian prince…
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The People Have Spoken
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
A few days ago, I wrote about a job interview that was canceled because the interviewer could not get away from her work in New York. Because the recruiter with whom I’m working did not know when it could be rescheduled, I offered to fly to New York (trying to showcase my enthusiasm for the position and set myself apart from other candidates). Then, I had a flash of panic…fearing that my offer may have been perceived as more desperate than proactive.
To allay my fears, I posted a poll on this blog and the results have been compelling. As of this morning, 8 of the 9 voters agreed that my offer was a good one (the lone dissenter did not make his or her rationale known, either through commenting publicly or contacting me privately). My favorite voting explanation was delivered by one of my oldest friends, who intelligently concluded, “This isn’t dating…playing hard-to-get is just plain stupid.”
Thank you to everyone who voted, both for sharing your opinions and supporting my decision. I will be sure to include more voting options in the future, so long as I can guarantee that your votes will be in line with my opinions. You know…kind of like Fox News polls.
I wish I had more to report on the job front today, but alas, there have been no new developments. I’m looking forward to my phone interview tomorrow…even though I’m not entirely positive the job is perfect. It’ s still better than unemployment, right?
A few days ago, I wrote about a job interview that was canceled because the interviewer could not get away from her work in New York. Because the recruiter with whom I’m working did not know when it could be rescheduled, I offered to fly to New York (trying to showcase my enthusiasm for the position and set myself apart from other candidates). Then, I had a flash of panic…fearing that my offer may have been perceived as more desperate than proactive.
To allay my fears, I posted a poll on this blog and the results have been compelling. As of this morning, 8 of the 9 voters agreed that my offer was a good one (the lone dissenter did not make his or her rationale known, either through commenting publicly or contacting me privately). My favorite voting explanation was delivered by one of my oldest friends, who intelligently concluded, “This isn’t dating…playing hard-to-get is just plain stupid.”
Thank you to everyone who voted, both for sharing your opinions and supporting my decision. I will be sure to include more voting options in the future, so long as I can guarantee that your votes will be in line with my opinions. You know…kind of like Fox News polls.
I wish I had more to report on the job front today, but alas, there have been no new developments. I’m looking forward to my phone interview tomorrow…even though I’m not entirely positive the job is perfect. It’ s still better than unemployment, right?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Message from Above
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
For someone without a job, I have to admit, I’m a pretty lucky sonofabitch.
After yesterday’s admittedly depressing entry, I received a number of e-mails and calls from friends concerned about my state of mind and encouraging me to keep grinding. Wow. Who knew people were reading…and actually cared?
I should admit to two things: first, I was never as down as my tone implied. I know this is a marathon and I never really considered giving up just because my job leads had slowed down. But also…I needed a fresh angle yesterday and the whole “pity party” thing seemed like it might get me somewhere. The lesson, I suppose, is don’t trust an artist’s alleged pain.
That’s right, I just called myself an artist.
But the other lesson I learned is that many of you feel like you have a stake in my job search. Some of you were understandably worried for my mental health, but others empathized because they too had been (or are) unemployed and know what a drain it is (financially and emotionally). Thank you to everyone who reached out…and to those of you who even thought about reaching out. Frankly, I’m lucky that you’re even reading; that some people took action is icing on the cake.
(I don’t know if that was the real God who posted a comment – like faux-celebrities on Twitter, it could have been an impostor. But thanks anyway, Big Man.)
I’m happy to report that my delayed interview has been officially rescheduled for next Thursday…and that I have a phone interview for another job this Friday. But I’m even happier to report that I’m still here, still pushing and still coming up with new excuses to not work out.
At least you can always count on me for that.
For someone without a job, I have to admit, I’m a pretty lucky sonofabitch.
After yesterday’s admittedly depressing entry, I received a number of e-mails and calls from friends concerned about my state of mind and encouraging me to keep grinding. Wow. Who knew people were reading…and actually cared?
I should admit to two things: first, I was never as down as my tone implied. I know this is a marathon and I never really considered giving up just because my job leads had slowed down. But also…I needed a fresh angle yesterday and the whole “pity party” thing seemed like it might get me somewhere. The lesson, I suppose, is don’t trust an artist’s alleged pain.
That’s right, I just called myself an artist.
But the other lesson I learned is that many of you feel like you have a stake in my job search. Some of you were understandably worried for my mental health, but others empathized because they too had been (or are) unemployed and know what a drain it is (financially and emotionally). Thank you to everyone who reached out…and to those of you who even thought about reaching out. Frankly, I’m lucky that you’re even reading; that some people took action is icing on the cake.
(I don’t know if that was the real God who posted a comment – like faux-celebrities on Twitter, it could have been an impostor. But thanks anyway, Big Man.)
I’m happy to report that my delayed interview has been officially rescheduled for next Thursday…and that I have a phone interview for another job this Friday. But I’m even happier to report that I’m still here, still pushing and still coming up with new excuses to not work out.
At least you can always count on me for that.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Hitting the Wall
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
You know how runners can “hit the wall” at some point during an excruciating race, feeling both physical and mental fatigue conspiring against them? Well, I’m there now…you know, except without any real physical fatigue.
Now a full two weeks into my unemployment, I am for the first time mentally drained and more than a little frustrated. I have fully exhausted all Chicagoland development (nonprofit fundraising) job leads. I have e-mailed just about everyone I know hoping that someone had an opportunity in his or her back pocket. I’ve even started an almost modestly popular blog and shamelessly self-promoted it via Twitter and Facebook.
So where am I? Pretty much nowhere. I mean, I still have an interview lurking (the recruiter called me to tentatively schedule it for 2/25…completely ignoring my offer to fly to New York). I realize that’s not nothing. But I also realize that I’m going to have to broaden my search and/or lower my expectations if I want to rejoin the workforce sooner rather than later.
The mainstream job search sites (monster, career builder, etc.) are filled with crap – literally hundreds of job opportunities that don’t interest me, wouldn’t compensate me adequately, AND for which I’m not qualified. Isn’t that a kick in the nuts?
I know I can’t afford to wallow in self-pity and simply wait for the phone to ring. I won’t do that…or at least that’s what I keep promising myself. As a veteran of dozens of competitive races (disclaimer: I was not all that competitive in most of them), I know what “the wall” feels like. I know I’m up against it now. And I know that even if I push through, there may be another, stronger, taller wall ahead of me.
What I don’t know is, will I have the toughness to make the necessary push? Self-awareness has put me on the slippery slope to doubt…and doubt can easily slide deeper into impotence (in the metaphorical, non-sexual sense).
Somebody has to have some good news, right? Let me hear from you…
You know how runners can “hit the wall” at some point during an excruciating race, feeling both physical and mental fatigue conspiring against them? Well, I’m there now…you know, except without any real physical fatigue.
Now a full two weeks into my unemployment, I am for the first time mentally drained and more than a little frustrated. I have fully exhausted all Chicagoland development (nonprofit fundraising) job leads. I have e-mailed just about everyone I know hoping that someone had an opportunity in his or her back pocket. I’ve even started an almost modestly popular blog and shamelessly self-promoted it via Twitter and Facebook.
So where am I? Pretty much nowhere. I mean, I still have an interview lurking (the recruiter called me to tentatively schedule it for 2/25…completely ignoring my offer to fly to New York). I realize that’s not nothing. But I also realize that I’m going to have to broaden my search and/or lower my expectations if I want to rejoin the workforce sooner rather than later.
The mainstream job search sites (monster, career builder, etc.) are filled with crap – literally hundreds of job opportunities that don’t interest me, wouldn’t compensate me adequately, AND for which I’m not qualified. Isn’t that a kick in the nuts?
I know I can’t afford to wallow in self-pity and simply wait for the phone to ring. I won’t do that…or at least that’s what I keep promising myself. As a veteran of dozens of competitive races (disclaimer: I was not all that competitive in most of them), I know what “the wall” feels like. I know I’m up against it now. And I know that even if I push through, there may be another, stronger, taller wall ahead of me.
What I don’t know is, will I have the toughness to make the necessary push? Self-awareness has put me on the slippery slope to doubt…and doubt can easily slide deeper into impotence (in the metaphorical, non-sexual sense).
Somebody has to have some good news, right? Let me hear from you…
Monday, February 15, 2010
Enthusiastic Go-Getter or Desperate Douchebag? You Decide
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
I’m feeling a little light headed today and my nearly two full weeks of unemployment is only partially to blame.
The Future Missus, likely after noticing my progress (or lack thereof) on the elliptical and bulging beer gut, decided that I needed to start a new diet to shed some of my excess girth. And while I usually wait for winter to end before losing my hibernation reserves, to make the best first impression I need to ensure that my suit jacket fully closes.
That’s a long preamble for saying that I feel like I’m running on fumes today and had zero motivation to work out. At least that’s a more reasonable excuse than my customary “didn’t feel like it. Fuck off.”
Anyway, there’s not much to report today than a disappointing call I received this morning from the recruiter who had set up an interview for me on Wednesday. She told me that the executive director cannot fly to Chicago this week and needed to reschedule. She assured me that the company was still VERY interested in my candidacy, but that time constraints made an interview impossible until next week at the earliest.
How I responded is where I need your help. Determined to set myself apart from other candidates, I offered to fly to New York to meet with the executive director at her convenience. I figured that such enthusiasm for the opportunity would cast me in a favorable light…but after making the offer, I had a moment of panic when I realized that instead I could be perceived as a pathetic and over-eager kiss-ass (for what it’s worth, the recruited sounded genuinely impressed that I would go to such lengths and promised to pass along my offer).
So I ask you, friends, did I make the right call? In this depressing job market, was I correct in offering to go (literally) the extra mile to make an impression…or would I have been better served (professionally and financially – last-minute flights ain’t cheap) to wait for the executive director’s schedule to clear up?
Please tell me what you think, either via a comment to this post or in the poll to the right. Thanks in advance for your input.
I’m feeling a little light headed today and my nearly two full weeks of unemployment is only partially to blame.
The Future Missus, likely after noticing my progress (or lack thereof) on the elliptical and bulging beer gut, decided that I needed to start a new diet to shed some of my excess girth. And while I usually wait for winter to end before losing my hibernation reserves, to make the best first impression I need to ensure that my suit jacket fully closes.
That’s a long preamble for saying that I feel like I’m running on fumes today and had zero motivation to work out. At least that’s a more reasonable excuse than my customary “didn’t feel like it. Fuck off.”
Anyway, there’s not much to report today than a disappointing call I received this morning from the recruiter who had set up an interview for me on Wednesday. She told me that the executive director cannot fly to Chicago this week and needed to reschedule. She assured me that the company was still VERY interested in my candidacy, but that time constraints made an interview impossible until next week at the earliest.
How I responded is where I need your help. Determined to set myself apart from other candidates, I offered to fly to New York to meet with the executive director at her convenience. I figured that such enthusiasm for the opportunity would cast me in a favorable light…but after making the offer, I had a moment of panic when I realized that instead I could be perceived as a pathetic and over-eager kiss-ass (for what it’s worth, the recruited sounded genuinely impressed that I would go to such lengths and promised to pass along my offer).
So I ask you, friends, did I make the right call? In this depressing job market, was I correct in offering to go (literally) the extra mile to make an impression…or would I have been better served (professionally and financially – last-minute flights ain’t cheap) to wait for the executive director’s schedule to clear up?
Please tell me what you think, either via a comment to this post or in the poll to the right. Thanks in advance for your input.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Rules to Live By
Distance Traveled: 1.07 miles (811 calories)
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
That’s right, bitches. Your eyes ain’t deceiving you. I’m an elliptical pounding mother fucker, mother fuckers.
Sorry about that. Pulp Fiction only came out 16 years ago…I can still talk like Jules, right?
Well it’s Friday, it’s (almost) 10:30 and it’s inevitably time to party, so what figurative progress did I make today? Well my so-called job description has been sent out, and at a whopping 1,086 words, it’s a break from my customary slackerdom. I’ll let you know how well or poorly it’s received.
In other news, I’ve confirmed my interview for Wednesday…and confirmed that the salary is in my ballpark (although the recruiter has been frustratingly vague with compensation details). For now, we’ll mark that down as another temporary win.
So what, then, am I left to write about as the work week ends? How about some guidelines for enjoying this blog?
1. If you’re reading, you should also be following. Scroll down a bit on the right column. See that spot for “followers.” That, friends, can be you. No e-mails are sent to followers; it’s just a nice ego boost for your favorite unemployed heartthrob. No, not Freddie Prinze, Jr. I was talking about myself.
2. If you’re following, you should also be leaving comments. Why settle with being a mere follower when you can interact with me too? Leave your comments at the end of each post! Tell me “hang in there, kiddo,” or “that made me laugh! Your blog is awesome,” or “you’re a worthless asshat. No one cares what you think, Smith.” Just remember that I’m very sensitive to criticism and my tears have been known to cause global warming.
3. If you’re leaving comments, you should also be clicking on the ad-sense links and making me money. Well, more like pennies…but that’s almost real money, right? I’m not really sure how much can be made from my inclusion of Google ads, but I promise to split the proceeds (or at least share the news of my fortune) with friends should it become a profitable venture.
That’s all for now. Remember to follow the rules and thanks for reading!
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
That’s right, bitches. Your eyes ain’t deceiving you. I’m an elliptical pounding mother fucker, mother fuckers.
Sorry about that. Pulp Fiction only came out 16 years ago…I can still talk like Jules, right?
Well it’s Friday, it’s (almost) 10:30 and it’s inevitably time to party, so what figurative progress did I make today? Well my so-called job description has been sent out, and at a whopping 1,086 words, it’s a break from my customary slackerdom. I’ll let you know how well or poorly it’s received.
In other news, I’ve confirmed my interview for Wednesday…and confirmed that the salary is in my ballpark (although the recruiter has been frustratingly vague with compensation details). For now, we’ll mark that down as another temporary win.
So what, then, am I left to write about as the work week ends? How about some guidelines for enjoying this blog?
1. If you’re reading, you should also be following. Scroll down a bit on the right column. See that spot for “followers.” That, friends, can be you. No e-mails are sent to followers; it’s just a nice ego boost for your favorite unemployed heartthrob. No, not Freddie Prinze, Jr. I was talking about myself.
2. If you’re following, you should also be leaving comments. Why settle with being a mere follower when you can interact with me too? Leave your comments at the end of each post! Tell me “hang in there, kiddo,” or “that made me laugh! Your blog is awesome,” or “you’re a worthless asshat. No one cares what you think, Smith.” Just remember that I’m very sensitive to criticism and my tears have been known to cause global warming.
3. If you’re leaving comments, you should also be clicking on the ad-sense links and making me money. Well, more like pennies…but that’s almost real money, right? I’m not really sure how much can be made from my inclusion of Google ads, but I promise to split the proceeds (or at least share the news of my fortune) with friends should it become a profitable venture.
That’s all for now. Remember to follow the rules and thanks for reading!
Day Ten: The Day I Stopped Counting
Distance Traveled: 0
Distance Traveled to Date: 2.03 miles
I’d like to think I’ll be able to retire this blog within a few weeks, when some poor, unsuspecting employer says, “Let’s take a chance on that Smith kid. I know his interview answers were week, but I like his style.” And yet, unemployment statistics suggest that this could be a lengthy ride…so I’m no longer keeping count of the days. After today.
We cool?
My better half called into work sick today with “Indian food indigestion,” which, I’m pretty sure is a diagnosis for which there is no known cure. Since she slept until 10, I spent the morning hours firing off resumes, eating Chinese leftovers (we’re very cross-cultural with our take-out) and NOT working out. Again. But it’s not my fault – the workout room is right next to the bedroom; it would have been cruel for me to wake up her sick ass with the grunts and wheezes that come from my fitness regime, right?
I was all set to start writing the “job description” I referred to in my last post, when my phone rang and a blocked number showed up on the caller ID. Who was it, you ask? It was a recruiter…doing a phone interview for a position to which I had applied on Monday! We spoke for about 15 minutes and I literally charmed her pants off (yes, literally. I heard her unzip). She called back a few hour later to tell me the Executive Director was flying in from New York on Wednesday and I was one of a few select candidates to “make the cut” for a formal interview!
(I will, of course, share details of the interview process. But for the sake of my prospective future employer’s privacy – and my superstition – I’m going to be vague about details until there is a definite resolution. I’m sure you understand.)
Clearly, there is still a way to go…but it’s comforting to know that my resume resonated and that my employment search may not (necessarily) be a quixotic quest. And of course, I still have to write that job description…and apply to more open positions…and, yes, get my fat ass in shape.
Distance Traveled to Date: 2.03 miles
I’d like to think I’ll be able to retire this blog within a few weeks, when some poor, unsuspecting employer says, “Let’s take a chance on that Smith kid. I know his interview answers were week, but I like his style.” And yet, unemployment statistics suggest that this could be a lengthy ride…so I’m no longer keeping count of the days. After today.
We cool?
My better half called into work sick today with “Indian food indigestion,” which, I’m pretty sure is a diagnosis for which there is no known cure. Since she slept until 10, I spent the morning hours firing off resumes, eating Chinese leftovers (we’re very cross-cultural with our take-out) and NOT working out. Again. But it’s not my fault – the workout room is right next to the bedroom; it would have been cruel for me to wake up her sick ass with the grunts and wheezes that come from my fitness regime, right?
I was all set to start writing the “job description” I referred to in my last post, when my phone rang and a blocked number showed up on the caller ID. Who was it, you ask? It was a recruiter…doing a phone interview for a position to which I had applied on Monday! We spoke for about 15 minutes and I literally charmed her pants off (yes, literally. I heard her unzip). She called back a few hour later to tell me the Executive Director was flying in from New York on Wednesday and I was one of a few select candidates to “make the cut” for a formal interview!
(I will, of course, share details of the interview process. But for the sake of my prospective future employer’s privacy – and my superstition – I’m going to be vague about details until there is a definite resolution. I’m sure you understand.)
Clearly, there is still a way to go…but it’s comforting to know that my resume resonated and that my employment search may not (necessarily) be a quixotic quest. And of course, I still have to write that job description…and apply to more open positions…and, yes, get my fat ass in shape.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Day Nine: There is Such Thing as a Free Lunch
Distance Traveled: 0
Distance Traveled to Date: 2.03 miles
Before I regale you with the tale of my possibly triumphant afternoon, I must first say this: get off my back! Yes, I realize that this blog was intended to “track my steps toward gainful employment,” and yes, I realize that my literal steps have been too few and far between…but cut a guy some slack. The past two days I’m sure I’ve burned hundreds of calories with my too-frequent snow blower/shoveling/ice scraping ventures. Sure, I’m not exactly keeping up my workout goal…but I am getting a workout.
Are we cool now?
Anyway, yesterday I wrote about possibly doing some contract grant writing for my friend’s agency. And I must report…that’s not going to happen. But don’t fret, friends; there’s still an opportunity there.
Basically, he’s affiliated with a newly formed foundation that will be in the market to do both grant seeking and grant making…and they’re looking for someone who can make the connections necessary to ensure the foundation’s growth. That would likely entail networking, grant writing and a fancy title of my choosing (the first thing that sprang to my mind was “Philanthropy Czar” – and he was cool with it!).
While there are still many details to be sorted out (not the least of which is the compensation I expect for my as-yet undefined – and not officially offered – role), it was a rewarding conversation made even more enjoyable when he picked up the lunch tab (hence the title of today’s post…you were wondering how I’d tie that in, huh?). So now I’m tasked with writing a job description of sorts; but how much time and effort can and should I put into something that likely could distract me from my overarching goal? Do I want to position my role as one that will allow me to stay on after I find full-time employment? Or should I dial back my commitment so I can better focus on finding a job that can keep me living the fancy lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed?
I realize that these are good problems to have and good questions to answer. We’re going to touch base again on Friday to go over my notes and decide if it makes sense for us to be in business together in the future. Until then, my routine will be largely unchanged…and since there are no more big snows in the five-day forecast, that might even mean cracking the three-mile mark on my unemployment pedometer!
Distance Traveled to Date: 2.03 miles
Before I regale you with the tale of my possibly triumphant afternoon, I must first say this: get off my back! Yes, I realize that this blog was intended to “track my steps toward gainful employment,” and yes, I realize that my literal steps have been too few and far between…but cut a guy some slack. The past two days I’m sure I’ve burned hundreds of calories with my too-frequent snow blower/shoveling/ice scraping ventures. Sure, I’m not exactly keeping up my workout goal…but I am getting a workout.
Are we cool now?
Anyway, yesterday I wrote about possibly doing some contract grant writing for my friend’s agency. And I must report…that’s not going to happen. But don’t fret, friends; there’s still an opportunity there.
Basically, he’s affiliated with a newly formed foundation that will be in the market to do both grant seeking and grant making…and they’re looking for someone who can make the connections necessary to ensure the foundation’s growth. That would likely entail networking, grant writing and a fancy title of my choosing (the first thing that sprang to my mind was “Philanthropy Czar” – and he was cool with it!).
While there are still many details to be sorted out (not the least of which is the compensation I expect for my as-yet undefined – and not officially offered – role), it was a rewarding conversation made even more enjoyable when he picked up the lunch tab (hence the title of today’s post…you were wondering how I’d tie that in, huh?). So now I’m tasked with writing a job description of sorts; but how much time and effort can and should I put into something that likely could distract me from my overarching goal? Do I want to position my role as one that will allow me to stay on after I find full-time employment? Or should I dial back my commitment so I can better focus on finding a job that can keep me living the fancy lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed?
I realize that these are good problems to have and good questions to answer. We’re going to touch base again on Friday to go over my notes and decide if it makes sense for us to be in business together in the future. Until then, my routine will be largely unchanged…and since there are no more big snows in the five-day forecast, that might even mean cracking the three-mile mark on my unemployment pedometer!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Days 5-8: Moving Forward while Standing Still
Distance Traveled: 0
Distance Traveled to Date: 2.03 miles
Distance Traveled to Date: 2.03 miles
OK, so I haven’t made any calorie-burning progress since last week…but at least I have made a significant step toward reaching my first employment milestone. Sort of.
Maybe I should start from the top.
I suppose this blog’s gimmick – a synergy of stories about working out and working to find work – isn’t all that exciting. Sue me. But what I lack in captive ideas, I no doubt make up for with mildly amusing anecdotes, parenthetical self-interruptions (because I’m cool like that) and an endless cavalcade of short, grammatically flawed sentences. Best. Blog. Idea. Ever.
Right?
Anyway, I’ve been sending off resumes like a mo-fo, but that’s not why you’re still reading (no one is still reading? Shit). While ridiculously drunk at a Superbowl party, I exchanged a series of e-mails with a contact who wants to meet to discuss the possibility of me doing some contract grant writing for his agency. Well, it’s not really an agency…but for the sake of this blog post (and my not wanting to jinx anything by being too forthcoming about details), let’s just call it that and leave it alone.
We are meeting for lunch tomorrow, which means I’ll likely have to shave (for the first time since getting fired) and shower (for the sixth time since getting fired). I’m usually not too fond of personal grooming, but in this economy, I suppose we all have to make sacrifices. I don’t like to brag, but I’m pretty much the Gandhi of unemployment blog writers. Shit, I’ve only had Chipotle thrice in the past week!
No matter what the result is tomorrow, I will be sure to update my ones and ones of followers with details (to the extent with which my prospective employer feels comfortable). And I’ll probably even jump on the old elliptical too!
Or maybe I’ll sleep in, bask in my own body odor and order some Chipotle (fajita burrito with chicken, medium salsa, cheese, guac and lettuce – in case you’re making a run).
Friday, February 5, 2010
Day Four: Making a List
Distance Traveled: 1.12 miles (2.03 to date)
So it turns out I’m not the first newly unemployed asshole who thought that blogging would be a good way to stay creative while not collecting a paycheck. An old friend shared with me his unemployment blog, telling me he “figured with the economy the way it is, I'll start this blog and chart my progress and it'll become the zeitgeist. MSNBC will be calling me in for expert unemployment advice. Etc, etc.” What’s that they say about the best laid plans? His blog only lasted three days.
With the sense of accomplishment that comes with surpassing a peer, I feel comfortable enough stealing one of his ideas (and no, the common blog theme wasn’t theft, it was coincidence): an unemployment checklist! And because no one asked for it, here’s mine:
• Revise my resume (check!)
• Read a book (does it count if I finish any of the three books I started on vacation?)
• Get thorough medical and dental check-ups before my insurance lapses
• Study copious amounts of baseball statistics to prepare for the 2010 fantasy season (can you believe that news of my unemployment was greeted by one so-called friend with a “oh shit, you better get a job soon otherwise you’re going to dominate the league this year.” Thanks, jackass).
• Look into grad school before ultimately deciding that I just don’t give a damn about an advanced degree
• Work out daily (Day Two FAIL!)
• Figure out what I should have said when I was fired
• Figure out what I could have done differently to avoid being fired
• Figure out what I’ll do in my next job to ensure I’ll never be fired again
• Start a new blog (check!)
• Shower daily (or at least keep my five showers per week schedule that I followed while employed)
• Learn how to crochet
• Bug my friends about my blog so much that they’ll find me a job just to avoid future ramblings
• Watch two hours of daytime TV maximum each day
• Eat an entire wheel of cheese
• Oh yeah…find a job. Whew. Almost forgot.
I’d like to think I’ve made decent progress thus far. This afternoon I will apply to the first batch of jobs I found, and later, I’ll join a few friends for Happy Hour. Do I deserve to reward myself with cocktails meant as a reward for completing a hard week’s work? Probably not…but that cheese isn’t going to wash down itself.
So it turns out I’m not the first newly unemployed asshole who thought that blogging would be a good way to stay creative while not collecting a paycheck. An old friend shared with me his unemployment blog, telling me he “figured with the economy the way it is, I'll start this blog and chart my progress and it'll become the zeitgeist. MSNBC will be calling me in for expert unemployment advice. Etc, etc.” What’s that they say about the best laid plans? His blog only lasted three days.
With the sense of accomplishment that comes with surpassing a peer, I feel comfortable enough stealing one of his ideas (and no, the common blog theme wasn’t theft, it was coincidence): an unemployment checklist! And because no one asked for it, here’s mine:
• Revise my resume (check!)
• Read a book (does it count if I finish any of the three books I started on vacation?)
• Get thorough medical and dental check-ups before my insurance lapses
• Study copious amounts of baseball statistics to prepare for the 2010 fantasy season (can you believe that news of my unemployment was greeted by one so-called friend with a “oh shit, you better get a job soon otherwise you’re going to dominate the league this year.” Thanks, jackass).
• Look into grad school before ultimately deciding that I just don’t give a damn about an advanced degree
• Work out daily (Day Two FAIL!)
• Figure out what I should have said when I was fired
• Figure out what I could have done differently to avoid being fired
• Figure out what I’ll do in my next job to ensure I’ll never be fired again
• Start a new blog (check!)
• Shower daily (or at least keep my five showers per week schedule that I followed while employed)
• Learn how to crochet
• Bug my friends about my blog so much that they’ll find me a job just to avoid future ramblings
• Watch two hours of daytime TV maximum each day
• Eat an entire wheel of cheese
• Oh yeah…find a job. Whew. Almost forgot.
I’d like to think I’ve made decent progress thus far. This afternoon I will apply to the first batch of jobs I found, and later, I’ll join a few friends for Happy Hour. Do I deserve to reward myself with cocktails meant as a reward for completing a hard week’s work? Probably not…but that cheese isn’t going to wash down itself.
Day Three: The Scene of the Crime
Distance Traveled: 0.91 miles
In Genesis, it’s said that God rested on the seventh day. Well, since I aspire to be nearly half as awesome as Him, I rested on Day Three. No elliptical workout for me, although I did push my body to its limits in another challenging way.
Day Three was the day I had been scheduled to return to my office and pick up my personal effects. It’s embarrassing enough being sent home on a Tuesday, suddenly jobless, and having to walk past dozens of now-former coworkers on one’s way to the elevator…but to voluntarily walk back into that office and be forced into human interactions? Ugh. This wasn’t going to be fun.
I stepped off the elevator and immediately noticed all the uncomfortable eyes suddenly fixated on distant objects and silent phones picked up in a panic. Good times.
After spending some time with my former assistant (helping her fix a mistake she made while trying to do my work, natch), I collected all my personal items in one box. Depressing, isn’t it? You can sit in an office for 4+ years and the only things of personal value can be carried off with minimal effort?
A few folks came by to offer me luck and say their goodbyes, but there were entirely too few tears shed on my behalf. Maybe if I wasn’t such a douche, people would have responded with more emotion? Maybe if I wasn’t such a douche, I’d still have a job. Nah…I can’t afford to get caught up in this game.
It’s back on the elliptical tomorrow, as well as sending out my first batch of resumes. Oh, and I’m selling legal pads out of the trunk of my car. Let me know if you need any.
In Genesis, it’s said that God rested on the seventh day. Well, since I aspire to be nearly half as awesome as Him, I rested on Day Three. No elliptical workout for me, although I did push my body to its limits in another challenging way.
Day Three was the day I had been scheduled to return to my office and pick up my personal effects. It’s embarrassing enough being sent home on a Tuesday, suddenly jobless, and having to walk past dozens of now-former coworkers on one’s way to the elevator…but to voluntarily walk back into that office and be forced into human interactions? Ugh. This wasn’t going to be fun.
I stepped off the elevator and immediately noticed all the uncomfortable eyes suddenly fixated on distant objects and silent phones picked up in a panic. Good times.
After spending some time with my former assistant (helping her fix a mistake she made while trying to do my work, natch), I collected all my personal items in one box. Depressing, isn’t it? You can sit in an office for 4+ years and the only things of personal value can be carried off with minimal effort?
A few folks came by to offer me luck and say their goodbyes, but there were entirely too few tears shed on my behalf. Maybe if I wasn’t such a douche, people would have responded with more emotion? Maybe if I wasn’t such a douche, I’d still have a job. Nah…I can’t afford to get caught up in this game.
It’s back on the elliptical tomorrow, as well as sending out my first batch of resumes. Oh, and I’m selling legal pads out of the trunk of my car. Let me know if you need any.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Day Two: Technical Difficulties
Distance Traveled: 0.91 miles
I think there’s something wrong with my elliptical.
I mean, is it even possible to burn 635 calories in 27 minutes and ONLY go 0.91 miles? I was hauling ass and sweating balls, yet I didn’t even travel a theoretical mile?
Anyway, if the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, at least I can be comfortable in the knowledge that I took several thousand steps today. Of course, those steps didn’t even carry me one full mile, so there’s a long road ahead of me.
Today I replied to the dozens of e-mails I’ve received in the past 24 hours. I’m truly blown away by how supportive my friends (and acquaintances) have been…even though none offered to lend me money…or hire me. I guess no one is perfect.
I also made arrangements to return to my old office and collect my personal affects and any office supplies that aren’t nailed down (what’s the re-sale value for Bic pens and half-used White-Out?). That’s going to be a fun trip – lots of half-fake tears masking ex-colleagues’ relief that their jobs are still safe. Good times.
Until then, the (figurative and literal) many-mile-mission continues…
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Transitions
Distance Traveled: 0
Friends, this is going to be one of those blogs…
This morning I was informed that my job was being “consolidated,” which is a nice way of saying I was fired. Despite what you know about me, I was assured that this was not performance-based. I know…I’m as surprised as you that I didn’t screw up something big.
Anyway, I’m now left to find a new job – hopefully sooner rather than later. So I’m reaching out to you…and anyone you feel comfortable enough reaching out to on my behalf. You probably have a general idea of what I did and what my skills are, but I’m happy to reply to anyone individually who may have a specific lead (in any industry). I can’t afford to have any ego; I’m prepared to consider any opportunity and/or talk to any person who has an idea that can help.
I’m confident that Marni and I will be fine in both the short- and long-term future and I appreciate in advance your concern, support and assistance. And in the mean time…I’m going to start blogging again.
Hold your applause.
My goal is to make this page a daily log of the steps I’ve taken, both literally and figuratively, to rejoin the ranks of the gainfully employed. And to keep me focused (I’m sure I’ll need the help).
I wish I could guarantee you'll enjoy the ride, but I'm going to walk this walk. Hope you're counting.
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