Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
That interview? Supposed to be today, after being originally scheduled for last week? Yeah…it was postponed again. Rescheduled for tomorrow morning. The executive director couldn’t fly in to Chicago last night, and with bad weather in New York, isn’t it almost inevitable that the interview will get pushed back again? I’m awash with optimism…
Stay tuned, friends…
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The World’s Worst Interview(er)
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
Yesterday I wrote about what I perceived to be a scam sent to desperate job seekers who posted their resumes on Career Builder, but the truth is that I’ve gotten a few solid leads from employers that saw my online resume and contacted me about one of their real job openings.
Or have I?
Recently, I’ve talked to two different employers that asked me to come in for an interview to discuss vacancies in their sales forces. Both assured me that the positions were not purely commission-based, both promised a fast track toward management and running a team of salesmen, and both offered what they deemed to be near unlimited earnings potential.
Though not excited about making a living in sales, I grabbed the first open interview slot (today at 10:30 am) and drove out to Lombard (town motto: “We’re Halfway to Aurora!”) to consider a new career path. What I got instead was a little lesson in the do’s and don’ts of interviewing a job candidate:
DO ask questions. That’s the plural of “question.” Remember that.
DON’T talk for an hour uninterrupted while the job candidate fights his desire to yawn.
DO get personal with the candidate, learning what makes him tick.
DON’T ask what the candidate’s parents do for a living and then never again invite him to join the conversation.
I know it sounds like exaggeration, but the interviewer literally asked me one question. One. And that was the question about my parents. Nothing about my resume, nothing about my experience, nothing about my interests…but man could he spin a mediocre yarn. If you’ve never heard the history of the insurance industry as told by a 58-year-old insurance lifer, well, you haven’t lived. Oh, and the “not purely commission-based” line I was given? Horseshit. He said they would advance me future commission if I needed the money, but there was zero salary associated with the job.
Shockingly enough, the interviewer told me he really enjoyed our “conversation” and told me he’d like me to sit down with his boss next week to discuss specifics. Really? Are you that lonely that you’re willing to hire someone simply because he is (barely) capable of not telling you to shut the fuck up?
When I woke up this morning, I doubted that I wanted this sales job, but I went on the interview for two reasons: a) because I promised myself that I would explore any and every opportunity to rejoin the workforce as soon as possible; and b) I thought I could use the experience as a trial run for tomorrow’s interview for a job about which I’m excited. I definitely didn’t get an edge for tomorrow, but at least a middle aged middle manager now thinks he would get along well with my parents.
I’m sure they can’t wait to meet him.
Yesterday I wrote about what I perceived to be a scam sent to desperate job seekers who posted their resumes on Career Builder, but the truth is that I’ve gotten a few solid leads from employers that saw my online resume and contacted me about one of their real job openings.
Or have I?
Recently, I’ve talked to two different employers that asked me to come in for an interview to discuss vacancies in their sales forces. Both assured me that the positions were not purely commission-based, both promised a fast track toward management and running a team of salesmen, and both offered what they deemed to be near unlimited earnings potential.
Though not excited about making a living in sales, I grabbed the first open interview slot (today at 10:30 am) and drove out to Lombard (town motto: “We’re Halfway to Aurora!”) to consider a new career path. What I got instead was a little lesson in the do’s and don’ts of interviewing a job candidate:
DO ask questions. That’s the plural of “question.” Remember that.
DON’T talk for an hour uninterrupted while the job candidate fights his desire to yawn.
DO get personal with the candidate, learning what makes him tick.
DON’T ask what the candidate’s parents do for a living and then never again invite him to join the conversation.
I know it sounds like exaggeration, but the interviewer literally asked me one question. One. And that was the question about my parents. Nothing about my resume, nothing about my experience, nothing about my interests…but man could he spin a mediocre yarn. If you’ve never heard the history of the insurance industry as told by a 58-year-old insurance lifer, well, you haven’t lived. Oh, and the “not purely commission-based” line I was given? Horseshit. He said they would advance me future commission if I needed the money, but there was zero salary associated with the job.
Shockingly enough, the interviewer told me he really enjoyed our “conversation” and told me he’d like me to sit down with his boss next week to discuss specifics. Really? Are you that lonely that you’re willing to hire someone simply because he is (barely) capable of not telling you to shut the fuck up?
When I woke up this morning, I doubted that I wanted this sales job, but I went on the interview for two reasons: a) because I promised myself that I would explore any and every opportunity to rejoin the workforce as soon as possible; and b) I thought I could use the experience as a trial run for tomorrow’s interview for a job about which I’m excited. I definitely didn’t get an edge for tomorrow, but at least a middle aged middle manager now thinks he would get along well with my parents.
I’m sure they can’t wait to meet him.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Of Scams and Shams
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
The world of online job searches can be a funny thing.
Since finding myself unemployed, I’ve applied to more than 30 jobs…and investigated dozens of other open positions that I determined were not the right fit. I’ve talked to recruiters and career coaches. I’ve networked my ass off. And I’ve even posted my resumes in some public forums – an action that has led to both interesting and surreal communications from prospective employers.
You know that e-mail scam in which a wealthy foreigner needs help moving millions of dollars from his homeland and promises you a percentage of his fortune in exchange for your assistance (usually in the form of providing him your bank account information)? Well, today I think I discovered its job search cousin. Take a look at this:
Frankly, I wasn’t sold until I learned the job would help me develop high self-respect and esteem. That shit is priceless, you know?
In the world of real jobs, I’m still sending off my resume in bunches and working every possible connection at my disposal. Last week’s phone interview went well and I’m optimistic that I’ll be one of a handful of candidates to get an in-person interview next week. I also have my long-delayed interview coming up on Thursday (I say “long-delayed” even though it’s only been pushed back 8 days. It just feels longer)…and I’m really excited about that one.
For now, however, I need to talk routing numbers with a Nigerian prince…
The world of online job searches can be a funny thing.
Since finding myself unemployed, I’ve applied to more than 30 jobs…and investigated dozens of other open positions that I determined were not the right fit. I’ve talked to recruiters and career coaches. I’ve networked my ass off. And I’ve even posted my resumes in some public forums – an action that has led to both interesting and surreal communications from prospective employers.
You know that e-mail scam in which a wealthy foreigner needs help moving millions of dollars from his homeland and promises you a percentage of his fortune in exchange for your assistance (usually in the form of providing him your bank account information)? Well, today I think I discovered its job search cousin. Take a look at this:
Dear Matthew Smith,
Our Organization is in the business of exchanging, buying, selling E-gold, PayPal and other e-currencies. We have local offices in Sweden, Finland, France, Spain, and Germany. Currently we are offering part-time job of "Transfer Manager" in the United States of America.
We are looking for few professionals who are good team players who can use their initiative, deliver results and show their commitment to excellence. If you are looking for new experience, new accomplishments in your career and are willing to receive better salary you are welcome to join our firm. We have found your CV at careerbuilder.com database, and consider you to be a great candidate for the vacancy which we propose
Job Description:
The task of the "Transfer Manager" is collecting transfers (to your checking account) from our customers in timely manner, sending them to our company in Sweden via bank transfers, and solving issues associated with these tasks.
Every payment will be accompanied with detailed instructions.
WE WILL UNDERTAKE FOR ALL THE FEES CONNECTED WITH YOUR EMPLOYMENT
General requirements:
• Age 21-65;
• Honesty, responsibility and promptness in operations;
• Microsoft Office skills;
• Good communications skills;
• Willingness to work from home, take responsibility and achieve higher goals;
• Any experience in customer service sphere is appreciated.
• 3-10 hours per week
• Salary: $600-$1500 per week. It is a commission based position - 8% from each processed order.
This position will allow you to:
• work efficiently from home, on flexible schedule.
• Become financially independent;
• increase available personal time;
• develop high self-respect and esteem;
If you want to apply this position, please apply here. [Editor’s Note: I accept no responsibility if you click the “apply here” link.]
Frankly, I wasn’t sold until I learned the job would help me develop high self-respect and esteem. That shit is priceless, you know?
In the world of real jobs, I’m still sending off my resume in bunches and working every possible connection at my disposal. Last week’s phone interview went well and I’m optimistic that I’ll be one of a handful of candidates to get an in-person interview next week. I also have my long-delayed interview coming up on Thursday (I say “long-delayed” even though it’s only been pushed back 8 days. It just feels longer)…and I’m really excited about that one.
For now, however, I need to talk routing numbers with a Nigerian prince…
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The People Have Spoken
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 Miles
A few days ago, I wrote about a job interview that was canceled because the interviewer could not get away from her work in New York. Because the recruiter with whom I’m working did not know when it could be rescheduled, I offered to fly to New York (trying to showcase my enthusiasm for the position and set myself apart from other candidates). Then, I had a flash of panic…fearing that my offer may have been perceived as more desperate than proactive.
To allay my fears, I posted a poll on this blog and the results have been compelling. As of this morning, 8 of the 9 voters agreed that my offer was a good one (the lone dissenter did not make his or her rationale known, either through commenting publicly or contacting me privately). My favorite voting explanation was delivered by one of my oldest friends, who intelligently concluded, “This isn’t dating…playing hard-to-get is just plain stupid.”
Thank you to everyone who voted, both for sharing your opinions and supporting my decision. I will be sure to include more voting options in the future, so long as I can guarantee that your votes will be in line with my opinions. You know…kind of like Fox News polls.
I wish I had more to report on the job front today, but alas, there have been no new developments. I’m looking forward to my phone interview tomorrow…even though I’m not entirely positive the job is perfect. It’ s still better than unemployment, right?
A few days ago, I wrote about a job interview that was canceled because the interviewer could not get away from her work in New York. Because the recruiter with whom I’m working did not know when it could be rescheduled, I offered to fly to New York (trying to showcase my enthusiasm for the position and set myself apart from other candidates). Then, I had a flash of panic…fearing that my offer may have been perceived as more desperate than proactive.
To allay my fears, I posted a poll on this blog and the results have been compelling. As of this morning, 8 of the 9 voters agreed that my offer was a good one (the lone dissenter did not make his or her rationale known, either through commenting publicly or contacting me privately). My favorite voting explanation was delivered by one of my oldest friends, who intelligently concluded, “This isn’t dating…playing hard-to-get is just plain stupid.”
Thank you to everyone who voted, both for sharing your opinions and supporting my decision. I will be sure to include more voting options in the future, so long as I can guarantee that your votes will be in line with my opinions. You know…kind of like Fox News polls.
I wish I had more to report on the job front today, but alas, there have been no new developments. I’m looking forward to my phone interview tomorrow…even though I’m not entirely positive the job is perfect. It’ s still better than unemployment, right?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Message from Above
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
For someone without a job, I have to admit, I’m a pretty lucky sonofabitch.
After yesterday’s admittedly depressing entry, I received a number of e-mails and calls from friends concerned about my state of mind and encouraging me to keep grinding. Wow. Who knew people were reading…and actually cared?
I should admit to two things: first, I was never as down as my tone implied. I know this is a marathon and I never really considered giving up just because my job leads had slowed down. But also…I needed a fresh angle yesterday and the whole “pity party” thing seemed like it might get me somewhere. The lesson, I suppose, is don’t trust an artist’s alleged pain.
That’s right, I just called myself an artist.
But the other lesson I learned is that many of you feel like you have a stake in my job search. Some of you were understandably worried for my mental health, but others empathized because they too had been (or are) unemployed and know what a drain it is (financially and emotionally). Thank you to everyone who reached out…and to those of you who even thought about reaching out. Frankly, I’m lucky that you’re even reading; that some people took action is icing on the cake.
(I don’t know if that was the real God who posted a comment – like faux-celebrities on Twitter, it could have been an impostor. But thanks anyway, Big Man.)
I’m happy to report that my delayed interview has been officially rescheduled for next Thursday…and that I have a phone interview for another job this Friday. But I’m even happier to report that I’m still here, still pushing and still coming up with new excuses to not work out.
At least you can always count on me for that.
For someone without a job, I have to admit, I’m a pretty lucky sonofabitch.
After yesterday’s admittedly depressing entry, I received a number of e-mails and calls from friends concerned about my state of mind and encouraging me to keep grinding. Wow. Who knew people were reading…and actually cared?
I should admit to two things: first, I was never as down as my tone implied. I know this is a marathon and I never really considered giving up just because my job leads had slowed down. But also…I needed a fresh angle yesterday and the whole “pity party” thing seemed like it might get me somewhere. The lesson, I suppose, is don’t trust an artist’s alleged pain.
That’s right, I just called myself an artist.
But the other lesson I learned is that many of you feel like you have a stake in my job search. Some of you were understandably worried for my mental health, but others empathized because they too had been (or are) unemployed and know what a drain it is (financially and emotionally). Thank you to everyone who reached out…and to those of you who even thought about reaching out. Frankly, I’m lucky that you’re even reading; that some people took action is icing on the cake.
(I don’t know if that was the real God who posted a comment – like faux-celebrities on Twitter, it could have been an impostor. But thanks anyway, Big Man.)
I’m happy to report that my delayed interview has been officially rescheduled for next Thursday…and that I have a phone interview for another job this Friday. But I’m even happier to report that I’m still here, still pushing and still coming up with new excuses to not work out.
At least you can always count on me for that.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Hitting the Wall
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
You know how runners can “hit the wall” at some point during an excruciating race, feeling both physical and mental fatigue conspiring against them? Well, I’m there now…you know, except without any real physical fatigue.
Now a full two weeks into my unemployment, I am for the first time mentally drained and more than a little frustrated. I have fully exhausted all Chicagoland development (nonprofit fundraising) job leads. I have e-mailed just about everyone I know hoping that someone had an opportunity in his or her back pocket. I’ve even started an almost modestly popular blog and shamelessly self-promoted it via Twitter and Facebook.
So where am I? Pretty much nowhere. I mean, I still have an interview lurking (the recruiter called me to tentatively schedule it for 2/25…completely ignoring my offer to fly to New York). I realize that’s not nothing. But I also realize that I’m going to have to broaden my search and/or lower my expectations if I want to rejoin the workforce sooner rather than later.
The mainstream job search sites (monster, career builder, etc.) are filled with crap – literally hundreds of job opportunities that don’t interest me, wouldn’t compensate me adequately, AND for which I’m not qualified. Isn’t that a kick in the nuts?
I know I can’t afford to wallow in self-pity and simply wait for the phone to ring. I won’t do that…or at least that’s what I keep promising myself. As a veteran of dozens of competitive races (disclaimer: I was not all that competitive in most of them), I know what “the wall” feels like. I know I’m up against it now. And I know that even if I push through, there may be another, stronger, taller wall ahead of me.
What I don’t know is, will I have the toughness to make the necessary push? Self-awareness has put me on the slippery slope to doubt…and doubt can easily slide deeper into impotence (in the metaphorical, non-sexual sense).
Somebody has to have some good news, right? Let me hear from you…
You know how runners can “hit the wall” at some point during an excruciating race, feeling both physical and mental fatigue conspiring against them? Well, I’m there now…you know, except without any real physical fatigue.
Now a full two weeks into my unemployment, I am for the first time mentally drained and more than a little frustrated. I have fully exhausted all Chicagoland development (nonprofit fundraising) job leads. I have e-mailed just about everyone I know hoping that someone had an opportunity in his or her back pocket. I’ve even started an almost modestly popular blog and shamelessly self-promoted it via Twitter and Facebook.
So where am I? Pretty much nowhere. I mean, I still have an interview lurking (the recruiter called me to tentatively schedule it for 2/25…completely ignoring my offer to fly to New York). I realize that’s not nothing. But I also realize that I’m going to have to broaden my search and/or lower my expectations if I want to rejoin the workforce sooner rather than later.
The mainstream job search sites (monster, career builder, etc.) are filled with crap – literally hundreds of job opportunities that don’t interest me, wouldn’t compensate me adequately, AND for which I’m not qualified. Isn’t that a kick in the nuts?
I know I can’t afford to wallow in self-pity and simply wait for the phone to ring. I won’t do that…or at least that’s what I keep promising myself. As a veteran of dozens of competitive races (disclaimer: I was not all that competitive in most of them), I know what “the wall” feels like. I know I’m up against it now. And I know that even if I push through, there may be another, stronger, taller wall ahead of me.
What I don’t know is, will I have the toughness to make the necessary push? Self-awareness has put me on the slippery slope to doubt…and doubt can easily slide deeper into impotence (in the metaphorical, non-sexual sense).
Somebody has to have some good news, right? Let me hear from you…
Monday, February 15, 2010
Enthusiastic Go-Getter or Desperate Douchebag? You Decide
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles
I’m feeling a little light headed today and my nearly two full weeks of unemployment is only partially to blame.
The Future Missus, likely after noticing my progress (or lack thereof) on the elliptical and bulging beer gut, decided that I needed to start a new diet to shed some of my excess girth. And while I usually wait for winter to end before losing my hibernation reserves, to make the best first impression I need to ensure that my suit jacket fully closes.
That’s a long preamble for saying that I feel like I’m running on fumes today and had zero motivation to work out. At least that’s a more reasonable excuse than my customary “didn’t feel like it. Fuck off.”
Anyway, there’s not much to report today than a disappointing call I received this morning from the recruiter who had set up an interview for me on Wednesday. She told me that the executive director cannot fly to Chicago this week and needed to reschedule. She assured me that the company was still VERY interested in my candidacy, but that time constraints made an interview impossible until next week at the earliest.
How I responded is where I need your help. Determined to set myself apart from other candidates, I offered to fly to New York to meet with the executive director at her convenience. I figured that such enthusiasm for the opportunity would cast me in a favorable light…but after making the offer, I had a moment of panic when I realized that instead I could be perceived as a pathetic and over-eager kiss-ass (for what it’s worth, the recruited sounded genuinely impressed that I would go to such lengths and promised to pass along my offer).
So I ask you, friends, did I make the right call? In this depressing job market, was I correct in offering to go (literally) the extra mile to make an impression…or would I have been better served (professionally and financially – last-minute flights ain’t cheap) to wait for the executive director’s schedule to clear up?
Please tell me what you think, either via a comment to this post or in the poll to the right. Thanks in advance for your input.
I’m feeling a little light headed today and my nearly two full weeks of unemployment is only partially to blame.
The Future Missus, likely after noticing my progress (or lack thereof) on the elliptical and bulging beer gut, decided that I needed to start a new diet to shed some of my excess girth. And while I usually wait for winter to end before losing my hibernation reserves, to make the best first impression I need to ensure that my suit jacket fully closes.
That’s a long preamble for saying that I feel like I’m running on fumes today and had zero motivation to work out. At least that’s a more reasonable excuse than my customary “didn’t feel like it. Fuck off.”
Anyway, there’s not much to report today than a disappointing call I received this morning from the recruiter who had set up an interview for me on Wednesday. She told me that the executive director cannot fly to Chicago this week and needed to reschedule. She assured me that the company was still VERY interested in my candidacy, but that time constraints made an interview impossible until next week at the earliest.
How I responded is where I need your help. Determined to set myself apart from other candidates, I offered to fly to New York to meet with the executive director at her convenience. I figured that such enthusiasm for the opportunity would cast me in a favorable light…but after making the offer, I had a moment of panic when I realized that instead I could be perceived as a pathetic and over-eager kiss-ass (for what it’s worth, the recruited sounded genuinely impressed that I would go to such lengths and promised to pass along my offer).
So I ask you, friends, did I make the right call? In this depressing job market, was I correct in offering to go (literally) the extra mile to make an impression…or would I have been better served (professionally and financially – last-minute flights ain’t cheap) to wait for the executive director’s schedule to clear up?
Please tell me what you think, either via a comment to this post or in the poll to the right. Thanks in advance for your input.
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