Hitting the Wall

Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles

You know how runners can “hit the wall” at some point during an excruciating race, feeling both physical and mental fatigue conspiring against them? Well, I’m there now…you know, except without any real physical fatigue.

Now a full two weeks into my unemployment, I am for the first time mentally drained and more than a little frustrated. I have fully exhausted all Chicagoland development (nonprofit fundraising) job leads. I have e-mailed just about everyone I know hoping that someone had an opportunity in his or her back pocket. I’ve even started an almost modestly popular blog and shamelessly self-promoted it via Twitter and Facebook.

So where am I? Pretty much nowhere. I mean, I still have an interview lurking (the recruiter called me to tentatively schedule it for 2/25…completely ignoring my offer to fly to New York). I realize that’s not nothing. But I also realize that I’m going to have to broaden my search and/or lower my expectations if I want to rejoin the workforce sooner rather than later.

The mainstream job search sites (monster, career builder, etc.) are filled with crap – literally hundreds of job opportunities that don’t interest me, wouldn’t compensate me adequately, AND for which I’m not qualified. Isn’t that a kick in the nuts?

I know I can’t afford to wallow in self-pity and simply wait for the phone to ring. I won’t do that…or at least that’s what I keep promising myself. As a veteran of dozens of competitive races (disclaimer: I was not all that competitive in most of them), I know what “the wall” feels like. I know I’m up against it now. And I know that even if I push through, there may be another, stronger, taller wall ahead of me.

What I don’t know is, will I have the toughness to make the necessary push? Self-awareness has put me on the slippery slope to doubt…and doubt can easily slide deeper into impotence (in the metaphorical, non-sexual sense).

Somebody has to have some good news, right? Let me hear from you…