Rules to Live By

Distance Traveled: 1.07 miles (811 calories)
Distance Traveled to Date: 3.10 miles

That’s right, bitches. Your eyes ain’t deceiving you. I’m an elliptical pounding mother fucker, mother fuckers.

Sorry about that. Pulp Fiction only came out 16 years ago…I can still talk like Jules, right?

Well it’s Friday, it’s (almost) 10:30 and it’s inevitably time to party, so what figurative progress did I make today? Well my so-called job description has been sent out, and at a whopping 1,086 words, it’s a break from my customary slackerdom. I’ll let you know how well or poorly it’s received.

In other news, I’ve confirmed my interview for Wednesday…and confirmed that the salary is in my ballpark (although the recruiter has been frustratingly vague with compensation details). For now, we’ll mark that down as another temporary win.

So what, then, am I left to write about as the work week ends? How about some guidelines for enjoying this blog?

1. If you’re reading, you should also be following. Scroll down a bit on the right column. See that spot for “followers.” That, friends, can be you. No e-mails are sent to followers; it’s just a nice ego boost for your favorite unemployed heartthrob. No, not Freddie Prinze, Jr. I was talking about myself.

2. If you’re following, you should also be leaving comments. Why settle with being a mere follower when you can interact with me too? Leave your comments at the end of each post! Tell me “hang in there, kiddo,” or “that made me laugh! Your blog is awesome,” or “you’re a worthless asshat. No one cares what you think, Smith.” Just remember that I’m very sensitive to criticism and my tears have been known to cause global warming.

3. If you’re leaving comments, you should also be clicking on the ad-sense links and making me money. Well, more like pennies…but that’s almost real money, right? I’m not really sure how much can be made from my inclusion of Google ads, but I promise to split the proceeds (or at least share the news of my fortune) with friends should it become a profitable venture.

That’s all for now. Remember to follow the rules and thanks for reading!